Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Doctor, Doctor, Give Me a Cure
I went back to the doctor yesterday to find out why my voice is still absent. She concluded that it was excess mucus. I was skeptical at first of the diagnosis. But I got handed a handful of samples (I love doctors who do this because they save you SO much money) and got home and used a nose spray called Omnaris. I haven't Googled it yet because I know I'll prolly quit using it if I do because of disclosed side effects. I also got handed a couple months worth of Singulair. Which, if you've seen the commercials, has about a zillion side effects that are scary. But it's to the point now I'm willing to take these drugs to get well enough so I can work. I say, "well enough". I am well enough now, I just don't have a voice and that, my readers, is my job. About 5 minutes after using the nose spray, I had more voice than I've had in two weeks and I was SO excited. It went away again after about 15 minutes, but it was enough to convince me that the doctor knew what she was talking about. And she didn't seem concerned at all that it had been so long. And she didn't scope my throat which made me happy. She was concerned about the noises in my chest which led to a breathing test called Spirometry which I passed. Passed meaning I have normal lung function. The noises are my left over sick and I'm productively coughing all that up on a daily basis. Yum.
My oldest brother, who has been a police officer since he was 21 (he's 47 now) gave me the best piece of advice that anyone has ever given me, as far as being a dispatcher. "Doesn't matter if you know what you are doing or not as long as you SOUND like you know what you're doing." Meaning, when all hell breaks loose for my officers, what they need to hear over the radio is calm and in control. I attribute my successful dispatching career to this one piece of advice and when someone new comes in, I ALWAYS share that with them as well. Like most professionals in communications, it matters how I sound over the radio. Of course, having sound coming out at all helps tremendously.
So all of my training, all of my 20 years experience, all of the schools I've been to... none of that matters when you don't have a voice. I am just so very thankful that I have such a support system at work. I may never call in sick again, but for now I can rest assured that my job is not going any where. Even though it may be because everyone is tired of covering my shift, they tell me to get better soon and that they miss me. But I'm okay with that. Makes a girl feel needed. :-)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Happy Birthday Nanny
My grandmother is 107 today. I went to see her a bit ago. Hard to talk to someone who can't hear or see when you can't talk. But she knew who I was eventually... for about 15 minutes anyway. You see, her short term memory is gone. So every 15 minutes she forgets who she is with, or that even anybody is there since she can no longer see due to Macular degeneration, so she has to ask. But she always has a smile for whoever is there.
Happy birthday, Nanny. I love you so much.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Drizzle
It's what we have today. Dreary, cloudy, drizzly.
Workers came Thursday and tore out the rest of the ceiling in the back bedroom and hauled out the mess. Then they put up some insulation. Friday they came back and put up more insulation and installed the drywall then taped and bedded everything. Looks nice. Monday they will come back and texture.
Now I'm sitting here drinking hot chocolate and enjoying the solitude listening to my cool Pandora radio station. Got some incense burning as well as a candle.
It's a quiet Saturday morning and I'm still not back at work. My supervisor called yesterday and was all, "Hell NO you're not coming back sounding like that!" and I'm all, okay. Maybe Monday. Monday is my deadline. This all started the 23rd of December. I'm long past the point of being tired of it, and frustrated. My mom is long past being worried.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
More Weather
When the weathermen talk about flash flooding, THIS is what they are talking about.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYUpkPTcqPY
Reason Number 2 Why I Don't Have A Dog
Their ability to outperform me musically.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiblYasnzWE
Be Informed!
If you or your family have been touched by breast cancer, as has mine, take 20 minutes out of your day to watch this.
I am thankful that I live in a time where information like this is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and I am so grateful to the sites that I visit that encourage me to think outside of ALL the boxes. I think everyone should think outside of their boxes, too.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqbM1ZrpTQg
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Waiting
Sitting here waiting on the call that will tell me what time my new refrigerator will be arriving. I'm half excited for a new one, and half sad about the money I spent. But I got a cool one. One of those new fangdangle ones with the freezer slide out on the bottom and huge fridge space. I think this is the one I got:
In spite of the way things have been going around here, inside my head I'm planning cheap home make over ideas. At the moment, paint ideas. New ceiling calls for new paint. New paint needs a focal point. I'll be shopping for an interesting art piece or rug to inspire the room. In the meantime, I have a kitchen I can work on and an item of furniture that almost made it to the curb will be turned into a cart to hold my microwave to open up more counter space.
Doctor tomorrow to find out why I still can't talk... after 12 days. Also insurance guy early to look at back room ceiling hole.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Rant
Well... It's been a pretty crappy year so far. Last year ended bad and I really had high hopes for 2011. I'm sorely disappointed 2011.
Last year ended with getting sick at Christmas and the ceiling in my back bedroom on the floor and big old hole looking up into unknown critter land. This year started with me STILL being sick. Had to call in for the next few day yesterday because I have absolutely no voice what-so-ever. I was at least able to make it through three days of work last week.
Got the back room cleaned out and emptied of all things, all things being strewn, neatly, around the rest of my house, awaiting the arrival of the insurance guy Monday morning. I was trying to stay positive and thought this a very good time to just go ahead and start painting things around here since I'll prolly be here for a while longer, and just get in a better frame of mind about my home and really try to start enjoying being here. And I had really gotten to a decent place last nice, even without an out loud voice.
I awoke this morning to find that my refrigerator has gone out. I can hear it running but everything in the freezer has all but thawed out. I had just made an awesome soup last night, too. I don't know what, if anything, is going to be salvageable at this point. All I can do is sigh... quietly.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Think
“The reason why the universe is eternal is that it does not live for itself; it gives life to others as it transforms” ~Lao Tzu
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Re66MWWl8q8
Two Weeks Too Late
Had I seen this a few weeks ago, this is what I would have posted for Christmas Day.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFrcwcBVVjU
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Holiday Aftermath
I don't even know where to begin for this post. I've started it about a dozen times over the past few months and a dozen more the last day or so. Every time being deleted because I sound like a hormonal 40 year old woman who has nothing better to do except sit around and be pissed off at the world. Which, in essence, is exactly what I've been.
I have no year in photos because I think I stopped taking any about 6 months ago. I feel as if my whole life has stopped. Like I'm waiting. But I can't figure out what for. It's that whole being in limbo thing that I know I've talked about on here previously. But it goes beyond that and as clearly as I can feel what I'm feeling, I have no words for what it is I have been feeling.
Don't fret. The Crazy Cat Lady is very much A-OKAY. Well... aside from having the flu for the last eight or nine days, 5 or 6 of those so far spent with NO voice. Oh boy I was sick.
My holidays, which include Christmas, my birthday and New Year's Day, were memorable for reasons other than family and fun. I got a few hours of family time on Christmas day before I had to work a 12 hour shift that night. I got off work, came home and wished bad things on whoever it was that had come and beat me with a baseball bat. Made it to the doctor that next Monday and started the healing drugs. Don't remember much about those first few days except true misery, loneliness and pain. I've never been one to cry lonely, but being that sick I can truly say I experienced it. Waking up with 102 fever, my throat burning and raw from coughing, how I wished for someone to ask for a glass of water from and for them to just tell me everything was going to be alright.
Last Thursday morning, I think?, at 4:30am, I heard a crash in the back of my house. I was already awake. My first thought was, "What the heck did the cats trash now?" Then I noticed all four of them standing with me looking down the hallway. I found that half of the ceiling in my back room had dislodged it's self from where it had been for the last 70 years and was now scattered on the floor covering cat box central. As I was standing there in shock I heard a creaking noise and I quickly backed out of the room as even more came down and glass started breaking. The wind is what had awaken me around 2am.
I had been sick for about seven days at this point. My hormones, well... they started going haywire right around Christmas Eve. I can always tell when they are off when I get offered a Xanax by loved ones. So after about a 15 minute breakdown, I realized my kitties had no where to potty and I SURE wasn't up to cleaning that mess any time soon. So I got my sick butt dressed and off to Wal-Mart I went. New box, new litter, new location in the house. Sure glad my kitties are smart.
The old saying is, 'misery loves company', and I have always found this to be true for most, but not for me. My misery loves solitude. A perfect recipe for depression, I know. I'm still in denial about that, and I do have those that I talk to... when I can talk but I still can't find it in myself to share a lot of my not so cheery self here in the wide wacky web. Sure, I'll bitch about stuff and have and I'm sure to do more! You understand what I'm saying, right?
So I have this blog and I just can't seem to let it go. It's like the hoarder that can't get rid of that 25 cent broken toaster... along with the petrified bread crumbs that have been in it since 1963. I know the moment I do I'm going to regret it. So I don't. Then I'm not here and people stop coming... oh, don't apologize! I do the same thing to other blogs. I get bored with what they have to say, or they are never there and I just take them off my list. It is the life of most blogs, I'm sure. I have one or two that I still read that inspired me to be here in the first place.
In the spirit of the New Year 2011 (I was in bed by 8 that night) my one and only "resolution" is to pay more attention to my blog because I like being here. Being here makes me happy. Getting comments makes me smile. This may be the most I talk all year, or maybe not. But I will be sharing some of me. In some digital form or another. It's not too much of a change from what I've been doing lately, just more often. (crossing fingers)
The ceiling is in the process of insurance claims and emptying the room for future repair. While we wait, the Crazy house will be a mess and there will be a big giant opening into the attic space of my house from whence I'm still hearing critters having relay races up there. The door is remaining shut. At least is wasn't my butt that made this hole. I won't even go into the asbestos box that I live in.
Happy New Year, ya'll.
