Everything You Need To Know

Tonight is the season premiere of Lost. You may remember my watching ALL of the episodes of seasons 1, 2 and 3 in about 4 days about a month ago. I found this clip that could have saved me 4 days, so I thought I'd share it with you, in case you wish to start watching Lost tonight.

Here's everything you need to know to get you up to speed:

3 seasons of lost in 8 minutes 15 seconds

I could NOT live here!

(golf anyone?):

THIS:





IS JUST ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I NEED ONE OF THESE:

Women's Stuff

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!

Womens' Issues

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during
labor,but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife
is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and
act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker
that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.


TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand :
1. OTHER WOMEN

Sometimes...

...one cat bed is enough.


...one cat bed package is enough.


...smaller is better than bigger.


...fake trees make the best cat bed.

For Me!?? You Shouldn't Have!

So... I was thinking a bigger TV would be kind of cool, but I haven't bought a TV in years and years and I was curious about TV prices and what's available on the market nowadays and I found this:

This is a 70 inch Sony Bravia. Listed price is $33,000.00. Next time someone asks me what I would like as a gift, this is what I'm going to tell them. :-)

January Things

1. My Grandmother turns 104 on the 16th
2. American Idol's new season starts tonight!
3. My son turns 22
4. I will be doing my taxes soon
5. I might get my garbage disposal installed
6. ?

I thought there was more, which is why I chose the list format for today... but now I can't remember everything I was thinking about 30 minutes ago. So... never mind.

The Truth Is Out

Looking through my mail yesterday, I got a "personal" invitation from Donald Trump to "take part in the most popular pageant system in the country!" That would be, the Miss Universe Organization. Of course, I would probably have to win either the Miss Teen USA or Miss USA pageant first.

Why does no one tell old Donald that his hair looks bad? I know there have been public jokes about it that he has heard... but why can't he pay someone to tell him he would look a lot better with shorter hair? And facial hair. That's a face that cries for facial hair.

Couldn't Stop Watching

LOST. I haven't officially counted, but it was over 60 episodes. Season finales were about 85 minutes long each, and each season contained over 20 episodes, each about 45 minutes long. Season premier is January 31st for anyone who cares.

My Review: Decently written show. If I had tried to start watching this show without seeing ALL of them, I would not have enjoyed it near as much. There were some corny parts, but not a lot. I think I heard MAYBE two cuss words in three seasons. I am one hundred percent addicted and will continue keeping up with this show when the new season starts. Lots of on the edge of your seat moments. I can imagine what other viewers felt as they ended quite a few of these episodes at moments that would have made me yell at the TV screen for making me wait a week to see what happens.

*****

I've decided I'm going to be 39 for the next 5 years.

Damn You ABC.com!

When I first started this blog in October, early on I listed a bunch of shows that I would be interested in seeing, those that already had me hooked and some old favorites. Since that blog post, I have discovered ABC.com. Where, if I missed an episode of a show I have been watching, I could go and watch it online. Which actually has been great for at work when I need something to occupy my mind. And then the writer's strike. The new episodes of all the shows that I have watched this season ran out of new shows and there's been nothing new to watch at work.

One show that a lot of people watch that I've never seen before, is Lost. I was never interested in seeing it and I felt after not watching the first season, it would be one of those shows that you wouldn't understand if you tried getting in on the middle of it. Well... ABC.com has posted season 1, season 2, and season 3 online. And I made the mistake yesterday of watching the pilot episode. And then I watched the next one... and the one after that... and now I am hooked. Each episode is about 45 minutes long and there are 24 episodes in the first season alone. I only hope that ABC.com leaves all these episodes up long enough for me to watch them all. Oh, glorious nights at work are to come!!!

I got a few things actually done yesterday. In between Lost episodes, that is. I need to vacuum and get over to my parent's house today to drop off mail, rent, laundry and to visit. And I am going to have to turn on my stereo loud enough to cover the calling of my computer to my backside. (I would have said "ass" here, but I got in trouble from my kids saying it at my brother's house on Christmas so I'm refraining from using that term in any public form whatsoever. But I've nick-named all my cats Ass, so if you come over to my house, expect to hear it a LOT.)

We had an employee at work quit this morning. Which means one of our dispatchers who is actually a police officer who came into dispatch until an opening came available, will now no longer be called a dispatcher, which means, 12 hour shifts until we can find someone to replace him. I'm not against 12 hours shifts. More money and more time to watch Lost.

Time to get my day started...

Which Way Is Up?

***Added Edit to end of post***

One of the drawbacks of working midnight shift (during Winter) is that when you awaken in your warm cozy bed and look at your clock and see it is 6:52, see that it is still dark outside, you will lay there and ponder for at least 10 minutes if it is evening or morning. I was well aware it was a day off, so I knew it could be either. The disorientation this causes is an instant waker-upper.

In the end... I soon found out it was morning. But is it trash day?

I'm disappointed in our Winter this year. We had a snow day, but it could have been described as more of a fluke snow day. None of it stuck to the ground and it was over in about 15 to 30 minutes. Nothing since that day. Last year I got some really good pictures of some snow covered ground by this time. Granted, it's only the 3rd of January and we get most of our snow during this month so maybe we will still get some.

I'm not one who stresses over global warming. I believe it to be true and happening, but it's happening so slow I'll be long gone before any serious dire effects come from it... like the earth flooding and stuff. Well... I take that back. The bad air that is causing said global warming is affecting me and my family now and I can't deny that. I've lived in this area my whole life. I've lived here long before it became the bustling city it now is. I know I've already posted on my disappointments of how much this city is nature-less with too many people and way too many cars. But 30 years ago (and the fact I can accurately say that particular phrase disturbs me greatly) I would build snowmen with my neighbor, go sledding with waxed cardboard homemade sleds down other neighbor's driveways, go sneaker skating on iced over roadways and eat snow ice cream my dad would make. My kids have maybe experienced this twice in their lifetime. Don't remember if they've ever tasted homemade snow ice cream. Sure we get a little snow here from time to time, even now. But it's nothing like it use to be. I'm no scientist or meteorologist, but I believe the amount of people and cars in this area now prevents the snows we use to get when I was a kid. If that is part of global warming, then I AM seeing it now.

I would just love a snow day where I could go outside and have my feet sink into the snow up to my knees and be the first one to make footprints in a blank canvas... I want a snow day so I can go outside and listen to the silence that snow always brings. If I were a boy, I would want to write my name in the snow. :-)

My goal today is to get something done. Anything. I don't even care what it is. But I need to get at least one thing done today. It gets frustrating with every day off that I have getting absolutely nothing done. So today I will get at least one thing done. I'll let you know tomorrow what it ended up being.

***Edit***
So I'm sitting here... still not doing anything and I noticed it was kind of cloudy outside and I happened to pull up the radar. There is a line of snow about 20 miles just west of where I'm still just sitting. I'm wondering if it will get here. It's 33 degrees outside now. I did not see the news or look at the radar prior to posting this morning. Maybe after I fell asleep on the couch last night with the TV on I subconsciously heard the weatherman say a chance of snow today or something. Which really probably didn't happen since the only time it snows here is when the weather people swear it's not going to.

Seriously going to go do something constructive now...

I'm STILL Laughing!

***EDIT***
I realized that some of you may have never seen the original of this video, so I've included the original first, and the translation video second. It's seriously not near as funny unless you've seen the first one, which in itself is still so awesome.


WHAT THEY ARE REALLY SAYING

The First Day of 2008...

...dawned cold and sunny and on the first day of this new year I learned a very important lesson. Addiction is more powerful then anything else on this planet. Addiction will cause you to lie to those you love the most, addiction will make you sneaky, addiction will sneak up on you and rear its ugly head when you aren't looking and make you see yourself as weak and worthless. Granted, I'm not a meth user or a crack head. I don't snort cocaine or shoot up heroin. I rarely drink. I'm not homeless, I'm not penniless (although sometimes I feel that way). The only thing my addiction is doing is killing me... slowly. And the saddest part of all? As long as I can have my fix, none of what I just mentioned matters... until afterwards.

To my friends and family that read this... this is going to be a lot harder then I thought. I have the want to. It only took me till now to get that. But it's not going to be near as easy as I thought it would be. Please be patient with me and know that I am trying and will be trying until the day I am cigarette free. I am weak, but I love myself enough to do this for me... and for you.

***

The last thing I accomplished in 2007 was successful training of "fetch" with Cricket. She is asked where her toy is... she will go and get it and bring it to me. I will then proceed to throw said toy across room where she will then grab it and bring it back to me to be placed in my open palms for me to do it again... and again... and again until I can't take it any more and I have to hide the toy.

CRICKET MAKING THE CATCH

There are several points of interest in the above photo. If you click on it and make it big, you can see the heat coming off of my furnace on the right hand side. Also, you can see my old microwave awaiting delivery to the garage, then there's Spazz all comfy in the box the new microwave came in. And I SWEAR I vacuum. I just haven't since Xmas.

CRICKET BRINGING IT BACK HOME

Happy New Year And Other Stoof!

At midnight tonight, I will be answering phone calls relating to gunshots being fired and fireworks being shot off. I will get a LOT of calls, in fact. Lots of people out acting crazy on this night. To my family and friends who may or may not read this... be careful. Don't drink and drive. The cops will be out in droves and they are just waiting for that one little swerve as an excuse to pull you over. They make it a game between themselves on nights like tonight to see who can get the most DWIs. Trust me. They do things like this. To my children!!!: Don't put yourself in a bad situation. Call me, call me, call me. Doesn't matter that I'll be at work. I will find you a ride home. Be smart. And be alert to the ones who choose to go ahead and spin that wheel on the revolver. Unfortunately, though, the shot usually goes awry and an 8 year old girl loses both of her parents instead. It's just not worth it folks. Be safe tonight.

***

My mom sent me the most beautiful birthday card. I felt I needed to share it because it touched me so:

How to Make a Beautiful Life (Reflections For a Daughter On Her Birthday)

Love Yourself.
MAKE PEACE with who you are
and where you are
at this moment in time.

Listen to you heart.
If you can't hear what it's saying
in this noisy world,
MAKE TIME for yourself.
Enjoy your own company.
Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try.
Take chances.
MAKE MISTAKES.
Life can be messy
and confusing at times,
but it's also full of surprises.
The next rock in your path
might be a stepping-stone.

Be happy.
When you don't have what you want,
want what you have.
MAKE DO.
That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow.
You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY(SHADE).
To know where you're going
is only part of it.
You need to know where you've been, too.
And if you ever get lost, don't worry.
The people who love you will find you.
Count on it.

Life isn't days and years.
It's what you do with time
and with all the goodness and grace
that's inside you.
MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE...
The kind of life you deserve.

There is no authors signature attached with this card, but it's from Hallmark. It is made so you can hang it up. Plan on doing just that.

***

Happy New Year, ya'll. May peace and love follow you through another year.

Today I am 40!

And with a loud drum roll, followed by a cymbal crash, please...

I'm 40. I am 40. I. Am. Forty. Years. Old. I know that saying it more doesn't make it any less true, but I'm still trying it on, so cut me some slack today.

Is being 40 twice as good as being 20? Don't know yet. When I turned 20, I was 6 months pregnant... don't have to worry bout that this year. When I was 20 I was married. No chance of that happening this year either. When I was 20 I had a son who was just about to turn 2 years old. Being 6 months pregnant, I wasn't skinny when I was 20. At 20, my marriage was long past the point of being over.

Now that I am 40. My children are grown and moved out of the house. I'm still not skinny. Gravity and gray hair are my worst nemesis. I never remarried. Still don't own my own home. I am not a grandmother. I have a job I like very much... working on my 14th year there. I have no retirement, though. (Loooooooooooooooong story) But I have no debt. I could pick up right now and leave and only owe utilities... and a good explanation to my kids why I'm leaving. But I'm not leaving. Not yet. This 40th year will be a year of changes. Of getting stuff done. On starting the rest of my life. Tonight at midnight, I will officially be a non-smoker. Tomorrows post should be entertaining, if I can muster up the jolly good cheer to even face my computer.

Being 40 for about 8 hours now, I am thankful for so many things. I'm thankful I lived to see 40 to see my children all grown up and adult-like, although they will always and forever be 3 in my eyes. I got to experience being an aunt, seeing my brothers marry well and I am thankful I still have my parents here with me along with my grandmother of almost 104.

I am happier than I was at 20. I am much, much, MUCH wiser. I've been up, I've been way down but for the most part, I can, at 40, look in the mirror and say I kind of like that gal. She's not so bad, really.

20 things about being 40.

1. I am more inclined to tell people to shut up.
2. Thinking about death is the new thinking about nothing much.
3. When my boss asks when I can get something done, I feel more free to say, "How 'bout never? Is never good for you?"
4. I am less certain about things then I use to be.
5. I argue with the TV. I always win.
6. It's hardly ever quiet enough.
7. It can be too quiet.
8. My joints are more accurate then the meteorologists.
9. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
10. I can eat dinner at 4pm.
11. "I'm eating ice cream at 8am because I CAN!"
12. Me and Ms. Clairol are best friends.
13. I can finally sit in a room full of adults and understand the conversations now.
14. I now have a valid excuse for forgetting things.
15. I actually LIKE going to work.
16. Staying home is just more appealing then going out.
17. Naps are goooood.
18. I can never be too warm in the winter, or too cool in the summer.
19. I actually WANT to save money now.
20. I am going to die sooner then ever.

Charlie...

I can't think of anything that sounds more odd than a child with an English accent, and I can't quit watching this video. It's hilarious to watch this kid's face when he's discovered he's placed his finger in a place he probably never will again. tee hee

Charlie bit him!

True Love

And It's Over...

And as fast as it got here, it got over with even faster.

Christmas aftermath:

Cricket standing tall and proud in her mess:

Libby had been into the catnip, but she thinks Christmas is greeeeeat:

And here's my Christmas Ficus:


Family:

My dad and his fish:

Mom and brother:

Son and daughter:

My niece, a Christmas kitten, and a pink tent in the living room:


Loot: Garbage Disposal, Super cool Microwave, ceramic heater for my feetsies, warm slippers, also for my feetsies, a really cool mirror that will need a very special place, humongous coffee mugs, getting to hug my brother after not seeing him in over a year and seeing one of my nephews and my sister-in-law, sitting next to my grandmother who asked me if I realized how old she was going to be in less than a month and I told her, "yes, 104". And she said, "When I was a hundred and three, I said whoopie, when I'm a hundred and four, I'm saying no more." And someone promptly responded with, "and when you are a hundred and five you can say, I'm still alive!" Coming home and seeing a new bunny friend hopping around my yard, time and lots of laughter with my kids, lots of hugs from lots of friends, good food... and some kind of icky sick that's going around my work that at least 5 of us are currently experiencing.

In other news...

I got my kitten to "fetch" 4 times in a row on xmas day while not sleeping and feeling ill. I use the term, fetch, loosely here, only because cats do what they WANT to do, and almost always NEVER what YOU want them to. I've never been one to train my cats to do anything aside from poo and pee in a litter box. And with cats, it's almost always a one time showing even at a very early age and they are cool with it. I've often thought of actually doing the whole "toilet" training thing, but as I'm sure you have heard me say before, I'm lazy and that just would take a lot of work. I spend more time trying to train my cats on things NOT to do. Like scratching on furniture (which they are actually really good at on everything except my mattress. But that's okay and for the most part I let them get away with it because my ex-boyfriend bought me that bed after he left me and I get some type of sick satisfaction as my kitties take out my projected anger on the bed) I spend a lot of time saying "Get out of there!" because they are all oh so good at getting into there... boxes, baskets, closets, top of closets, kitchen cabinets, tops of doors, IN the furniture, in the Ficus, drinking from the toilet... and other various odd places.

Each of my kitties has had a favorite toy when they were a kitten. Spazz loves strings, but he's one of these that likes to hide behind something and will only attack when the string is going back and forth almost in a whipping motion. My dad started him on that. He made this toy with a wooden stick and a thick string on the end and would get Spazz so wound up we would have to make my dad stop because Spazz would be laying on the floor panting. He liked the little mice covered in rabbit fur, too, but he was always chewing the tails off. Jynxy's favorite toy was a rabbit's foot. He carried and played with that thing until not much was left of it aside from bones and a bit of fur. I think he has some deep seated anger because he really likes to tear stuff up. And he sits and sharpens his claws like he can't wait to go find something to shred. Seriously, though... he DOES sit and sharpen his claws. I've never seen a cat sit and do that before. And he HAS some awesomely sharp claws. Anyway, he grew up and quit playing with the foot and I finally threw it away. Libby's favorite toy was a piece off of another toy. It is this gray fuzzy thing and it had a string that once attached it to something else and it had a little jingle bell that got stepped on so it didn't jingle any more and a small patch of fringed ribbon on the other end. She actually played with this toy until Cricket came along and made it her favorite toy and proceeded to rip off the string with the squished bell and all of the fringe where it was just an oval fuzzy gray thingy. Now it's an okay toy for when we can't find anything else to do. Cricket's new favorite toy is this little white mouse that has seen much better days.

I have several variations of mice made of different materials and colors, but this one is the best for some reason. One day I threw that mouse across the room while playing with Cricket and she kept coming back to me for me to throw it again but I would always have to get up and keep getting it myself. Remember... I'm lazy. So the game would not last very long. So one day she brought it back after catching it mid-flight. And so on Xmas, I think the idea has finally caught on that the game will last a lot longer if The Mommy doesn't have to get her fat rump off her computer chair. Right now our play room, as I'm sure you gathered from the pictures, is a disaster area and until I get some sleep, it's going to stay that way. But we will be practicing and I will let you know how it goes.

Two days off to look forward to. I'll be in bed covered in warm blankets and cats if you're looking for me.

4 days...

The Prayer... for you, and you, and you...

THE PRAYER

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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!!

Just got home from work and I'm having a quick cup 'o joe before facing shopping hell on the day before Christmas. I don't have much to buy because you can't buy much without much money, but I have to get out there anyway... much.

This evening will entail a yearly trip to Celebration Fellowship Church for their Christmas program, which I look forward to every year. Tissues are always a must.

This year, my Christmas memories so far will include some very heartfelt, deep conversation with two people that I consider very dear friends even though I have not known either a very long time. They have described for me a side of myself I don't or can't see with my own eyes and their kind words I will take with me over the next two days and hold dear to my heart as I enjoy the true meaning of the Christmas Spirit.

For any who read, Merry Christmas and I hope the next two days are filled with family, love, merriment, good food, laughter and joy for you.

And just in case you don't know how to wrap a present, I leave you with this video because a) it's hilarious b) the ending is hilarious c) it's Christmas and I have to get out and go shopping and it's the funniest video I could find in a rush, but worth the find.

Love you ALL!!!!!!