Irony... I Has It.

How ironic is it, when you go through your important paperwork looking for something and what you end up finding are old letters from someone who broke your heart, especially since today is valentine's day?

I read them. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. And I don't think it's because I'm coming down with what might be the flu... they just didn't make me sad, really. It kind of did, but it was more or less a bittersweet feeling, recalling memories of when the letters were written, and being 7 years in the future and knowing how much those words meant to me then, yet how meaningless they turned out to be. The most prominent feeling I had was to get his address and send them to him. In fact, I still want to do that and I'm not sure why. I think I'll always have something inside of me that thinks he never did or never will understand how badly he hurt me. I don't think that one will ever go away... I don't think there really is any way he could know unless he went through it himself. So in the end... it would be completely useless to send them to him... it would serve no purpose in my life... after this much time, doing something like that would probably be considered stalkerish... I have no desire to even talk to him, so it makes no sense to knock on that door, even though I know he would avoid any and all communication with me... and it seems childish...

But I still wanna do it. I won't. But I wanna. :)