October Update

So I've been messing around all morning avoiding writing this post. Thinking and knowing that if I don't post my update for the new month, many, if not all of you probably wouldn't take notice. And let me tell you, avoiding things is my forte. If it paid well, I would have lots of money. But avoiding things, especially when it comes to my weight, is what got me where I am. NOT avoiding my weight has been the hardest thing I've had to do this year. Avoiding today's post is not an option for me.

I'd be a liar if I said the numbers don't matter. Although I'm not ruled by the scale on a daily basis, once a month I am. And when I know I've not been as good as I should have been over the last month, stepping on the scale is the 2nd hardest thing to do. But I did.

I gained 5 pounds. Admitting that to myself is bad enough. Posting about it is worse. But NOT posting about it would be avoidance and I need to be accountable because that is the only way I'll be able to keep this up. So here I am. Being accountable. I wish it were easier.

Don't worry though. My quest is far from lost. Setbacks are okay if you understand what they mean, and I do. I've been lazy and I know I've been lazy. Each month gives me the opportunity to do better and I like that. I also know that the only way I could call myself a failure is to throw up my hands and say, oh well... I might as well go buy some french fries and a chocolate milk shake and call it a year. But that's what I used to do. And that's not what I'm going to do any more. This in itself is an accomplishment.