Bathroom Tissue And Lady Parts

I used to joke about the toilet paper at work. I've said that the toilet paper at work is the cheapest they can buy so no one would want to steal it. I will never say another unkind word about work toilet paper. I went and bought an emergency roll... you know, the roll that you have hidden close by the toilet... "just in case"? Figured it was just an emergency roll so it didn't have to be the good stuff. I had the misfortune of having to break out that roll recently and I can promise you now... I will never make fun of work toilet paper ever again. This stuff was so cheap that when I went to dig the wrapping out of the garbage so I could tell you what not to buy, it doesn't even have a brand name. No store brand signature or anything what-so-ever on the wrapping except how cheap it is. Next time, I'll at least buy Scott brand, and I hate that stuff!

I'm happy to report that I am finally over my PMS. Without going into too much detail, I am unhappy to report that a doctor's visit will be scheduled as soon as things calm down. To be more specific, a lady parts doctor. And to freak all you women out, it's been over 10 years since I've had a 'well woman exam'. Probably closer to 14. I had a tubal ligation, went back for my check up... and that's the last time I went. I'm one of THOSE people who figure if everything is working like it should then why subject myself to something I come out of feeling like I've been molested. I've only had one OB/GYN my entire life. He delivered me, he delivered my babies. I don't even know if the man is still alive. But yeah... things are not working like they should... things are BAD and getting worse each month... and I'm absolutely terrified to go.

You see... I have this weird thing going on the last several years or so. I'm afraid that if I go to a doctor, they are going to find something really bad wrong with me and when they tell me as much, my mind is going to work against me and I'm going to die... where as... if I DON'T go to the doctor, they can't tell me anything is wrong and my mind keeps going in automatic survival mode and I'll live longer if I don't know about it then I would if I did. Aaahhh... I see I've finally convinced you of my crazy! If, by chance, that didn't push you over the edge, then maybe this will... I haven't done a self breast exam since my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer... over 5 years ago. (I think I just heard my mom's head explode with that one.)

But alas... the time has come to face my fear. Pain will do that to you. It'll make you do things you don't wanna do just... to... make... it... STOP!

You may proceed with the admonishments now.