I'm finding it hard to find anything to blog about the last couple of days. As I'm sure you can tell. The Daffodils are in full bloom, yet I've not even bothered to go out and take any pictures. They are beautiful, but I never went out and did my Winter gardening so they don't stand out like they should. Too much dead foliage and grass. The last few days would have been perfect days to go out and work in the gardens, yet with the oncoming storms the last week, my hands have been useless. Anyone who spends any amount of time with me also knows that my "monthlies" have become a bit of a problem the last year or so, as well. Debilitating, without going into too much detail.
Getting older can be hard some days. The aches and pains are different than when we are younger. I don't blog about them because on most days, I don't let them get the best of me and the last thing I want this blog to be is a place where I whine and cry about what hurts today. I would not want to read a blog like that... I don't want you to have to either.
Several years ago when my kids and I were still living with my parents, part of my love of gardening came from spending some quality alone time with myself. In a house with 5 people this is a good thing. Now that I've lived alone for almost 3 years, I find myself craving a gardening buddy. Someone who shares my love for making things grow and be beautiful, yet someone who can also understand my need for being alone. It's a compromise that I'm not likely to find.
Most of my friends have never understood my anti-social behavior. How many times have I heard the words, "You just need to get out and have fun"? Too many times for me to count. I've always been this way, you know. I'm not sad, I'm not depressed and I love each and every one of the people whom I call friend. But I love my quiet time, too. It's what keeps me sane.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I Don't Have Much
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3 comments:
I love my quiet time, too. And I am itching to get out in the yard and do some clean up. Usually we get some nice winter days but so far this year it's been too cold.
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. :( I hope you feel better soon.
Your blog reminds me of a line from a Lucinda Williams song called "Side of the Road". It describes wanting to have someone but also wanting to be alone sometimes. I think we all have those moments; can it be "anti-social" if we all do it?
Best wishes, sweetie! =^)
I've always associated gardening, flowers, and greenery with you. Every time I think about you or what you might be doing, I imagine the little white and blue (or is it green? or turquoise? who knows...) house with wild flowers, creeping vines along the well, trees with stories to tell, and wind chimes. I see you sitting at the window of your screened-in porch with the cats all around, or bent over the little plot on the front porch cultivating some tulip buds or marveling at the mini-melons that mysterious grew there. And it makes me miss you...
I love you mom!
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