For My Mother

I don't remember much about when I was younger, but the things I do remember are as vivid as if they happened yesterday.

I remember playing Yahtzee with you one time and you had this spasm in your arm that made the dice fly out of your cup. I remember laughing about that until we were both crying.

I remember watching the Godzilla shows with you and each of us making the monster noises at each other afterward.

I remember collecting potato bugs with you in a jar from the veggies in your garden.

I remember playing lots of Gin Rummy.

I can remember every lecture you gave me and thinking to myself that I wish you would just spank me because the guilt was worse than any pain from a spanking I could get. And I can remember those lectures not because there were so many, but because they didn't happen unless I really screwed up.

I can remember becoming a teenager and fighting and yelling at you. I wish I could forget those times, though. Luckily, I got married early so we didn't have too terribly many of those, or at least not many that I can remember. In fact, I only remember one time really clearly, but alas... not what I was so angry about.

I remember the porch light signals when I had been outside with a boy too long.

I've never stolen anything because you had convinced me that if I did, I'd get caught. The funny part is, over the years as I've applied at different police departments and other various jobs where a polygraph is required, when they asked me the questions prior to taking the test and the question of stealing came up, I've had to convince these polygraph operators that, "No, I've not even stolen a piece of gum because my mom told me if I did, I'd get caught and I believed her." Seriously... I can't tell you how many times I've said that.

When I've gone through some of the darkest hours of my life, your words, "You just never know what tomorrow will bring", have gotten me through more times then I can count.

I remember getting all dolled up for my oldest brother's first wedding with you. We got our nails and our hair done... and then getting ready for the prom (not mine) up in one of the hotel rooms afterward.

I remember the summer of 1985 by the pool when you made me sit down and tell you that I thought I was pregnant and how much it broke your heart.

I can't say that I was a model child or even close to one. But I believe that the true testament to how well a mother has done in their child's life is how her grandchildren turn out. And well... we both know the results of that. And I can't even take full credit because of how close we all were for so very long.

Happy Mother's Day, mom. Thank you. For everything past, everything present, and for future stuff as well. I love you.