Cats Are For Lazy People

Like me.

You will never get an argument from your cat if you decide it's time for a nap.

If you don't feel like getting up, they don't either.

I thought about getting a dog once. Thought it would be a good way to get some exercise. Then I thought about all the days I probably wouldn't WANT to exercise, so I decided against a dog and got another cat instead.

Cats are happy to be left alone. I'm the same way.

5 minutes of play with a cat is the equivalent of 3 days of play for a dog.

Totally self sufficient as long as there is food and water available.

Less drool... most of the time.

I am not against dogs at all. I am "friends" with two pretty awesome dogs right now. There's Pheobe and Nero. Two really big, scary looking, super sweet dogs. But I don't think I'll ever live with any.

I Want!

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4LwJnuPVbY

Random FO-toes

And Forgive Those That Tresspass Against Us

This is what greeted me this morning as I drove into my driveway.It's a giant pile of grass clippings containing St. Augustine grass and two distinct styles of bush leaves. Placed in a very random area. There are no signs of any broken trash bags, like if they had been thrown into my yard and busted open. No... these were directly dumped. I also took pictures of my neighbor's yards with only one yard containing said St. Augustine grass and amazingly the same two distinct styles of bushes. Right across the street from this random location in my yard.


My mom said that it would be silly to dump so close to home. I agree. But I am also sadly tainted by my job and when evidence adds up... well... evidence adds up. Add to that, when another of my neighbor's houses was up for sale/rent, I witnessed the head male of this same household walk across the street and steal their garden lights. I do NOT know if he had permission or not, but it was late at night and I just happened to be sitting on my back porch enjoying the evening when he did it. He dropped one in the middle of the street as he walked back to his house.

I have two theories. One: He's the one that sicked the Code Enforcement guy on me last year and this is his way of expressing his distaste for my lawn. Two: It's father's day and he didn't want trash bags sitting around on this, his favorite day.

Out of all of my neighbors, just by observation alone, this family is the one that I would probably never associate with. Not sure why. Mostly just a feeling.

There was no damage caused by this dumping. In police terminology this is considered a class C misdemeanor w/ no damage. It's the equivalent of getting your house egged, or toilet papered. It's the mentality of someone who would do this that gets to me. I was mad at first. I'm not mad now.

Just in case it was my neighbor, though, I've decided when next I mow, and the time after that, and the time after that and so on and so on... I'm mowing around it. So he can stare at it for a while.

And that list I mentally keep? It grows ever longer.

OH! One more thing. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Early AM Grocery Shopping

Got a basket full of crap, front parking spot, no line at the check out. This is what 530am at Wal-Mart is like. You have to step around the stockers every once in a while... and the guy with the floor buffer will keep giving you these looks like you're in his way... but for the most part, I highly recommend that time of day for Wal-Mart.

It was a morning work out. It had been so long since I had been to the store, I had nothing. But now I'm stocked up on produce and dairy and meats and frozen things. First, I walked around the entire store. By the end of the run, the basket is full and going around corners started becoming tiresome. Unloaded everything to be checked. Loaded everything back in. Pushed overflowing basket to car. Unloaded everything into the car. Took basket back into store. Then I got to rest for the drive home. Unloaded everything onto the back porch because going in and out of the back door with the cats underfoot and trying to dart outside does not work. Closed back door to porch. Opened up real back door. Tripped over stampede of cats. Tried to get all the frozen stuff into the freezer because things were starting to defrost quickly. Cricket at this time starts playing ninja with all the plastic sacks I have thrown everywhere. Got all the cold stuff put up. Grabbed a paper towel to wipe the sweat that was already streaming down my face because it's already a thousand degrees with 15 million percent humidity. That's MY real-feel for ya! Went to my bedroom, turned on the air conditioner, stripped nekked and stood there in front of the air conditioner cursing summer.

How was YOUR early morning Friday?

Motorcycles Can, But Shouldn't

On my lovely commute home this morning on the wonderfully congested highway, shortly after I got on the highway, I saw a motorcyclist recklessly speed between cars while riding on the line between the lanes going about 70. I estimate 70 because I was going about 65. He may have been going faster. I've seen this done before, I'm sure I'll see it again.

When I see someone doing this, I know in my heart that they will lose that battle one day and become roadkill. But I still have to wonder at the stupidity. Either the drivers who do this don't give a crap if they live or die, or they ARE just that stupid and don't realize most people aren't watching for a motorcycle driving on the center line between lanes before they decide to change lanes.

If you have a motorcycle and you do this, please go ahead and close out your browser now. I don't want you here.

This year, the Dallas/Fort Worth area scored the number two spot in the nation's worst road rage, which includes drivers who cut off other people, don't use blinkers, drive like crap and then get pissed off at other people who do the same.

The reasons for moving fah, fah away from this area just keep stacking up.

20 miles down the road from whence I started my commute this morning, after I've left the highway and right before I turn off the main road to get to my house, I pulled up behind speedy, reckless, motorcycle man at a red light. I wish, OH how I wish I could get out of my car, go up to idiots that drive this way, and explain to them how driving like this gets them to their destinations no quicker. Pulling up behind someone who I've seen on the way home driving like crap has happened more times than I even know. A hundred, maybe? What about the ones that I don't notice?

I Got Your Heat Index

We who live in the south have what is called a Heat Index. For those that don't know what the heck that is, here is the low down:

Let's pretend I've signed up for a marathon. If this pretend marathon takes place around the corner from where my house sits and it's 102 degrees on a typical Texas summer day, I will be able to run 15.8 feet before collapsing from a heart attack. If this pretend marathon takes place in Nevada and it's 102 degrees on a typical Nevada summer day, I will be able to run 25.9 feet before collapsing from a heart attack.

I'm sure my math is not accurate in the above example.

Basically... when you have high humidity with hot temperatures, it is harder for your body to cool itself through the whole sweating your arse off and evaporation of that butt sweat. In low humidity with hot temperatures, the whole evaporation process is more efficient and cools your stanky parts faster.

Today it is supposed to get up to 100 degrees and depending on which weatherman you watch, the heat index should be anywhere from 103 to 108 which is fine because I have no plans to leave my house again until the sun goes down.

It's days like today that explain a small part of why I choose to work at night.

Serenity

I love Sunday mornings. They are peaceful. Not a lot of traffic on the road which makes the drive home from work peaceful, as well.

I just came in from outside where I just sat with my eyes closed and listened to all the sounds. The birds, the distant cars, a dog somewhere, the leaves softly blowing in the wind, Spazz inside yelling because he wants outside, too.

My son got moved into his apartment on Friday. Even though he's lived with his dad the last three years, I was as excited for him moving out on his own as I was when my daughter did it. Maybe a little more excited since I wouldn't be paying for it like I did... do... with my daughter. So far he's asked me both Friday and Saturday when I'm going to come see their place. It's in Coppell. I don't know that city very well. Too close Dallas in my opinion. He says it's easy to get to. They ALL say that.

I tried to enjoy the peaceful morning, but as I have sat here the last hour, the humidity is going up again along with the temperature and it's already unbearable. Time for the cool air.

Why won't bunnies eat carrots that are already picked? Were all those years of watching Bugs Bunny a farce?

Bad Mommy

When a mother gets to the point in her life where here children no longer sleep under her roof, it is her job to have food and drink on hand when those said children decide to drop by.

I'm not real good at fulfilling that rule. How many times over the years have my kids come over and said, "I'm starving, do you have any food?" or, "I'm thirsty, do you have anything to drink?" The answer from me is usually a choice of the following:
I have diet Pepsi and water, cereal but no milk, bread but no lunch meat, I have nothing.

I have been divorced for almost 20 years. One of the things I remember most about my mother-in-law is that no matter what day of the week, or time of day, if you showed up to her house, food was prepared. I remember thinking then that I wanted to do the same for my kids when they moved out. I've not been real good at it these last few years.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a friend over. He had brought two beers with him. He drank one and left the other. This past week, he came over again. He brought a root beer this time. When I mentioned to him that he still had a beer here, he told me every time he was over, he was going to bring a random drink and just leave it, to be funny. Then we got to talking and the conversation included something like: wouldn't it be funny if he kept doing that and over time what would my fridge look like, and then I thought of my kids coming over and wouldn't it be cool if it looked like a convenience store threw up in my fridge and the talk went on too long and ideas of magnet holders to stick to the outside of the fridge that held various candy bars, various single ice cream treats in the freezer, and a magazine rack and so on and so on.

So I've started a collection of drinks. Every time I go shopping, something will be bought to add. The drink part is easy and I have no plans to get a candy bar holder OR a magazine rack. The food thing... well... I'm the worlds worst on stocking up on food. I used to be decently good at it. My mother is an expert at it. But since living on my own, I'm the only one I ever worry about feeding and it's usually very simple and rarely am I very stocked up on anything. I'm going to try harder, though.

For now, though, when the kids drop by and they ask me, "Do you have any money?" At least I can lead them to the fridge and say, "No, but LOOK AT ALL THE DRINKS!"

Update

The refrigerator lives. A simple "rebooting" was enough to make it come back on. On a positive note, I had been having some problems with my ice dispenser having a lot of build up of ice around the exit point. I was wondering how it could be defrosted. Now I know.

I will take this opportunity to do a nice thorough cleaning before restocking from the ice chest that my things are in now.

Me and my bank account are much happier.

The Storms Killed It

The storms we had come through here Wednesday evening, lasted till Thursday afternoon. There was torrential rain, so much lightening it was WAY scarier than normal, and lots of freaking WIND! My parent's lost a fence and their back porch. This house here weathered it pretty good, yet again. A few big dead branches in my yard from my old Oak Tree, a few smaller leaf filled branches from my old Pecan Tree. No other major damage at my house, that I could tell. On my street further down, a neighbor lost half a tree (split in two) and the fence that it landed on. I had the computer and the TV off and unplugged.

Sadly... I believe the lightening storm killed my refrigerator. Something did, at least. The lights are on, but the cooling part, the most IMPORTANT part, is dead. And so the search for a new one has commenced, yet I am daunted by how much a stupid refrigerator costs. The cheapest side by side that I have found so far, which is what is dead in my kitchen now, is $718.00. I'm thinking I'm going to miss my ice maker and filtered water dispenser. The worst part of all is that I just spent 90 dollars on a three pack of filters for the stupid dead thing in the kitchen. I should have known better. That's ALWAYS when stuff dies.

I also found out day before yesterday that my daughter's ex-boyfriend is starting problems with her. She made the mistake of wanting to stay friends with him. I can't blame her, though. She has a heart of gold and some days I think she is too much like her momma when it comes to forgiving people. Or, should I say, how her momma USED to be. He's come from left field with some of the things he is saying, and I don't think he knows that pretty much everyone my kids know that he's contacted, already thought of him as a liar before he started this current line of stupidity. He's left an electronic trail a mile wide, including his biggest mistake of all which was to email me, and filing charges now would be easy, with just that email alone. For now, though, I have sent him a cease and desist letter along with a copy of the Harassment section of the Texas Penal Code and we'll see if he's got enough intelligence to realize he's not dealing with stupid people. If not, God help the boy. I passed up the chance to hunt him down the first time. I left it alone per my daughter's request. He involved me directly the second he pushed that send button on the email he sent me, though, and I've already explained that to my daughter. And once I push the Publish button on this blog post, even more people will be in "the know". If the need arises later for me to expose the details of what he's done so far, I will do that as well. For now, though, I will give him what little kindness I have left for him and keep things where they stand.

And that's all I have to say about that.

A Cat Poop Story

Once upon a time there was a litter box filled with litter. A cat came by and pooped in it, but it was no ordinary poop. No... this poop stood straight upright and held it's head higher than any other poop in the box. The queen took a picture of it, but sadly, the picture did not represent the uprightness of this particular poop as it should have been represented. Instead, this upright standing poop appeared as a poop textured phallic totem pole, seemingly floating in air. By the time the queen returned to the sacred poop for a second try at the perfect picture, the poop had been buried by another cat who came by, who just did not appreciate the sculpture of magnificence before her.

The End

I Promise I Tried

Nothing is more daunting than staring at a blank computer screen trying to come up with something either very interesting, or very funny to write about. I don't see how people who get paid to write, do it. I get frustrated after about 5 minutes. Then I'll start a post and I'm all, OMG your life is SO boring why are you EVEN writing about that?

The other night at work I got mad about something and I was going to post about it when I got home but by the time I got home that next morning I really wasn't bothered by it any more. I have written enough rash letters, memorandums and such, that I have learned to just sit back and chill first, then write if I still need to write. Diaries are usually filled with rash and instant emotion, which is a good thing. Diaries make a good place for that... as long as you are one hundred thousand million percent sure no one is going to EVER read it... because someone almost always inevitable does.

Two rules of life that everyone should follow:
1. If you write something about someone down on a piece of paper, unless you destroy it, as in burn the sucker, the probability of that particular person getting their hands on it is much higher than you might think. This goes for email as well but it's even worse with email. Most people don't realize that when they hit the delete button, or in extreme cases even when they format their hard-drive, incriminating evidence is still there. Magnets can get rid of some, but rarely get rid of everything. Again... fire is your friend.

2. If you REALLY don't want someone to know something about you, then you keep your mouth shut. Telling your BFF and making them swear not to tell... it's not reality people! They will tell. They ALWAYS tell.

Okay then. Guess I'm done posting about nothing. Now I'm off to ABC.com to watch me a little Bachelorette action.

Leet Me Introdoo Chu To My Leetle Flrriend.

I am a person to which the term impulse shopper applies. The place where I really started to do this was Walgreen's. For anyone who's not familiar with it, it's like a cross between a pharmacy, a convenience store, and dollar store. It still is my weakness. In my defense, when this started I was currently taking loads of anti-psychotic medications so in retrospect, I blame it on the drugs. Plus, I've come home with some really cool stuff!

So I was at Walgreen's this morning... to pick up a 12 pack of Diet Pepsi. While I was wandering around (the worst thing you can do after working all night because you sleep walk through there and things end up in your basket and you get home and you're wondering how the heck you got home with some of the stuff you did) and I suddenly thought of my dark blue, velvety type material, couch and how it was covered in cat hair to the point that the entire thing was turning fuzzy. Sadly, I probably know the layout of this store better than some of the employees and I knew where to get the lint rollers. I thought if I got 3 or 4, I could spend an hour or two de-fuzzing the couch and chairs. Then my eyes strayed to what is marketed as the "Magik Brush".

I've tried using a lint roller. Several times. It helps, but it never really gets everything off. The furniture just becomes LESS fuzzy. So I removed the brush from it's package and swiped it on an arm of the couch and OMG! It really, freaking works. So of course, I took pictures.

Here's The Brush
Since I moved my furniture, this has become a main path for the cats. It's amazing how it collects.EWWWOne small swipe with the truly Magik Brush.Can you see the difference?All done. Minus picture taking, about 30 seconds worth of work. This is what I'm buying everyone on my Christmas list. You think I'm kidding?

Happy Full Moon, Ya'll!

Don't Get Me Started

It was a productive weekend for me. I did finally get the yard mowed. Got a lot of my housework done. Had company. Wishing I had another couple of days to... do what? I dunno. Nothing. It's nice to do nothing, but I have found that I am happier when I get stuff done, even if it's the tiniest thing.

I'm tired of the hole in my wall. It doesn't sell cheap, cold beer OR serve me the best darn cheeseburger ever. Still haven't got that fixed, although I may check out some YouTube videos to see if they have any DIY vids about fixing holes in walls and how not to stick one's butt through them and stuff like that. It's not that it bothers me all that much, but it's there... and it's big... even if it is covered up with a big square piece of paper sack brown paper. Mostly, I just want to quit hating where I live. Not that I really hate it here, but I want to like it more. I'll never forget the feeling I would get when I would walk into my newly re-done kitchen at my other house. I just couldn't help but smile. My son loved it so much, that he told me not too long ago that I need to do my kitchen here the same way, in the same colors. Sadly, I don't think I could get away with that color scheme here. This kitchen here is just way too small for such dark colors.

Don't get me started on re-decorating. I could go on for hours! Not that you started me on it in the first place, but still. I think had I not chosen the path I did when I was younger... raising children... I might have been an interior designer. Not that I have an extraordinary talent for such things, just that the thought of decorating a room with someone's else's money sounds like a dream to me.

Friend Time

Had some good friend time last night. A movie and snacks were involved. Lots of good conversation and a magic trick, too. I woke up this morning with a smile... and about 30 minutes after that, my friend went home. :-)

Not being one who drives a manual shift car, I was unaware that to be able to start a vehicle with a manual transmission you must engage you clutch, even if said vehicle is in neutral. Lawnmowers work the same way. Which is why it wouldn't start for me, and which is why it DID start for my Dad when he made the trip over to "fix" the mower. How many times have I sat on that thing and started it, you may ask? Enough to know better, that's for sure.

So now I'm going to suck down the rest of my coffee... check my emails... and for real, this time, go out and mow.

Lawn Mower Saga, Year 3

Dead battery. Won't charge. Can't start. No mow. Housework instead. Taking break now. Wondering why I'm writing like this...
**EDIT**

Two hours later, found out I was an idiot. Lawn mower is fine. Will mow tomorrow. Had enough shame for one day.

Tonight

This evening is one of those evenings where you should be out on your front porch, sipping iced tea, and having good conversation with a loved one.

A rarity for me to feel the "lonely" vibe, the weather was so absolutely beautiful, it just felt wrong to not be sharing it with someone.

Storms Blow

We got slammed at work last night with a storm that came through. My non TV watching self had no idea it was supposed to rain. Had my kitty-cam on and panicked (why does a k need to be in a non-k word?) because I saw that I had left my TV plugged in. I don't panic (look ma, no K) anymore with my computer because it's almost 3 years old... I KNOW, ancient! I don't worry too much about storms when I'm at work because I know emergency services are seconds away. But man, oh man. That wind and rain and lightening were something to see! And just when I thought it couldn't rain harder, it would. Surprisingly... no calls during the whole thing. I heard a bit of thunder over the kitty-cam from here, but we didn't get much of anything here.

It's officially the start of my weekend. So much to do, so little enthusiasm to get it all done. My lawn is my main priority. It's so bad I almost want to call the Code Enforcement Police myself.

Strange

As I was driving to work last night I encountered some road construction. On a bridge. A two lane bridge where one of the lanes was blocked because there were workers who had giant saws that they were using to cut into the roadway on the bridge... as people drove across it. Now I don't know about you, but bridges make me nervous enough because of all the ones I hear about collapsing, I don't need to be going VERY slowly over one and be witness to someone cutting into it at the same time. I'd much rather be 30 minutes late to work because I had to detour than go over a bridge being sawed in two. How is this safe?

If you are a loyal fan of Kitty Cam and you have happened upon my Kitty Cam during the hours of, oh, let's say 10:30 pm to around 8am the last three nights, you might have caught yourself saying to your computer screen... "What the heck is that Crazy Lady doing?" The answer is, I'm not, but Libby is. She seems to be dissatisfied on where I have placed the tripod for the last three nights and has proceeded to knock the whole thing over. I know it's her because I was witness to it one night. Now I think it's become a game. Sigh. I will try to find a more secure location this evening.

A big giant plane disappeared over the Atlantic ocean. I don't foresee myself getting in a plane any time soon, but boy if I do, I sure hope they make a drug stronger than Xanex because... uhhh... NO WAY!