Nosy Neighbor

A few of my neighbors are multi-motorized-yard-tool owners. For example: I watched the female part of one of my neighbors rake her yard into this pretty impressive pile of leaves. Then she came back with one of those outdoor vacuums that suck up dead leaves from your yard and proceeded to spend the next 30 to 45 minutes sucking that big pile into this tiny bag that she had to change often. I'm thinking it would have been faster to just scoop up the pile of leaves that she had already raked and dump them in a trash bag by hand... but I guess if she were to have done that, she'd have missed the chance to use the out-door vacuum. The neighbor next to her was out using HIS outdoor vacuum. His had a bigger bag, and he didn't go about hand raking prior to sucking. His way makes more sense to me. I mean, seriously... I thought the whole idea behind motorized yard tools, was to get stuff done faster and easier than you actually could do something by hand. Maybe I'm just a moron.

I'm a pretty good nosy neighbor. I have no true facts of any of my neighbors, really, so I'll sit on my back porch and make stuff up about where they are going and who that is visiting their home. I have named all of them, as well.

I have barking dog neighbor, whose dog will bark anytime anyone comes within a certain distance of his yard, which I really like because you always know when someone is around. This dog never barks otherwise. They have two small children (both girls, I think). I like the way the dad talks to them. He seems like he really loves those kids and it's always nice to hear them interacting. I don't think I've ever seen the mom but maybe a couple of times. They live on my east side.

Then there's lawnmower neighbor who lives to my south. He's named because he REALLY likes his riding lawn mower and is out frequently using it. And I would, too. I'm rather jealous of him and his riding lawnmower. His yard is huge, so it takes a while to mow, the mower is really loud... but the coolest part is how fast this thing is. I'm use to my small poky riding lawn mower and I'll watch his... I swear he gets that thing up to 50mph at some points. They are an older couple with at least one grown daughter. I have actually verbalized with him, but not his wife, a couple of times. And we always wave.

At the north point, I have the new neighbors. They moved in a few months after I did. They are a younger couple, no kids... and at times there's a lady that lives there who has to be a lesbian. Don't ask me why I say this because I'm not really sure why I think this, but I strongly do. I've decided that she is the man's lesbian aunt and on occasion, her and her life partner have a spat and she comes and stays with him for a couple of weeks until nobody is mad any more. She's probably 50ish. The couple are probably in their late 20's, early 30's. Right now,though, there is a younger boy... probably in his early 20's who is at LEAST 7 feet tall living there. This kid is TALL! I'm thinking he is the female's younger brother. And I don't think this couple is married. And I think she is either Hawaiian or Samoan.

On my west side I have lazy neighbors, night shift husband, and Bratsville.

Lazy neighbors have the lady I was first talking about at the beginning of this post. Some mornings, I'll see the husband park his car in the street, walk past the trash cans after the garbage man has emptied them, along with a newspaper (or two) and not even look twice at them... then the wife comes home and takes the cans in along with the newspaper. It's mutual laziness in their household, but I guess it works for them. They have a daughter who is in high school.

Night shift husband neighbors have a grand-son that they babysit... a LOT! And I think the guy is kind of mean, but I'm not a hundred percent on that one. It may just be the way he sounds from his yard to my back porch. I think he works the same hours I do. I see her often with him doing yard work. And she can't pull into the garage by herself. She always makes her husband do it.

Bratsville is so named because this couple have a small girl and small boy and those kids are always coming out of their house to scream and cry. Mom or dad will come out and yell at them and they will usually return with more screaming and crying. Doesn't seem to be a very happy family. Last Christmas they didn't take down their decorations till mid-February. Their door is ALWAYS slamming.

So that's the neighbors that I see, watch and hear when I'm out on the old back porch watching the world unfold. I should really get a life, I know... and I'm probably over 50 percent wrong on my assumptions of my neighbors.

If ever you come to my house and see soda cartons on my kitchen floor... this is why:



Kittens-Coca Cola Box - The funniest movie is here. Find it