Dear Dead Thing

Dear dead thing,

I started noticing your presence a day or so ago. I kept thinking I had stepped in cat poo and you made me keep looking at the bottom of my shoes. Today, I realized that YOU were here... somewhere... around the bathroom area since this is where I detect your presence the most... which has caused me to keep my bathroom window open and the door closed. Anyone who has a cat knows how bad cats hate closed doors. This door especially because Jynxy thinks this is where his fresh water is located... in that place that The Mom sits ever so often... and it's not, but you can't tell him that.

I feel bad enough as it is knowing I caused the source of your smell. Before, you were just a cute scratchy thing that I heard romping and rolling up there at all hours of the day and night. I was okay with that, even though you drove my cats crazy. It was when you started chewing on our house that destroyed our co-habitation relationship. I tried to make you stop by banging on the walls and ceiling, but you ignored me like I didn't matter and just kept on chewing away. You left me no choice, really.

So dead thing, I hope that you leave soon. I have to take a shower and I just don't know how well that one small window is going to air out your smell so I'm able to be in there long enough to do that. I can hold my breath long enough to go sit on Jynxy's water bowl and be back out again. But I can't hold my breath while I take a shower. I would fall down and bump my head. So I'm ready for you to leave now. You weren't suppose to be here anyway, you know. The package said you would go away and smell somewhere else. They were wrong. Ooooh soooo wrong.