First Day Of School

It's like mini-van central out there this morning... and will be again this afternoon. That's one thing I always wanted when my kids were younger. But because I was always poor, and still am if we're counting, my parenting vehicles included small economy sized cars which were constantly stuffed with kid paraphernalia like Euphoniums, marching flags, backpacks, trash, old lunches, beer bottles, crack pipes... oh wait... different story with those last two. It's hard for me to write paraphernalia in a paragraph and not include crack pipe and beer bottles. Job hazard and all.

My cats are all in a circle watching a poor defenseless bug. I just reached for my camera to take a picture, but alas... it absconded with my daughter... again. You'll just have to use your imagination.

On my frozen Healthy Choice dinner box it reads: Empty contents onto a dinner plate to enjoy the meal even more. But sirs, you don't understand! Part of the glory of eating a frozen dinner is the lack of dishes that will have to be washed later.

PJ the cat has moved into his new apartment... with a puppy. I'm trusting my daughter will be taking lots of pictures that I can use for blog material later on.

Here's some pictures of Jynxy while he is sleeping:

Happy Birthday, Daddy

Today is my father's birthday. Happy birthday!

Yeah... I'm not feeling very Hallmark-y. I guess I'll have to buy him a card.

Saw the funniest thing yesterday. My daughter and I were getting money orders and raiding ATM machines yesterday and we pulled up to her bank's ATM and there on the DRIVE-UP ATM was a sign that read, "For the visionally impaired, push button and wait for instructions".

There are so many things wrong with this on so many levels. First of all... the sign isn't even in Braille. Second of all, I want a video of the blind person who is driving. And third of all, if your buddy who is probably driving you around reads you that sign, why is there a need for audio instructions? Why can't your buddy read you the same thing?

Fly Away Little Bird

And so her car was crammed to maximum capacity, not leaving much room, if any, to see out of her windows. With her she carried over half of my income for a month in money orders, my digital camera, and alcohol for tonights celebration of being on her own with her friends yet again. The only evidence left indoors of her ever being here, is the cat... who will get to spend one more night.

As I peeked through a window and watched her car drive away, I was struck by the sudden sadness of being on my own... yet again. I realized at that moment that it doesn't matter that she's 20 years old... my heart will always break a little when I see her drive away to be on her own, away from my protective gaze, into a mean world where I won't be able to give instantaneous hugs when they are needed.

Dining Out

Dining out is not conducive to successful healthy eating. Although I make the best choices that I can, it's all the other little extra things that get in the way... like hot fresh bread, Ranch dressing, chips and salsa, or that dessert I just HAD to have.

Tai food was a no go yesterday. The place we were going to go did not open until 5pm and we set out at 3pm. Our second choice, Texas Roadhouse, didn't open until 4pm so we sauntered over to Border's Books and hung out in the cafe with a wonderful glass of iced tea, conversation, and checking out the hot book smart guys.

My choice for dinner was grilled chicken salad, but I had Ranch dressing which pretty much voided out the healthy aspect of choosing a salad. And then there were the rolls... hot, fresh, cinnamon buttered rolls.

Thankfully, my stomach is used to very small meals so it doesn't take me long to fill up and I am good at quitting when I'm full. I try not to see the wastefulness of leaving so much food, so I tell myself what I leave there won't go with me on my hips so it's easier leaving what I do.

I've not exercised since my daughter came to visit. Granted, I'd only just began when we moved her back in, but I've not been back out since she got here. I don't blame her at all. It's been my choice. But I've noticed a laziness about myself since she's been back, which is what got me in trouble in the first place. The hardest part about losing weight is the all consuming "ME" aspect of it. There is no room for anyone else in there and when they are there, "ME" ceases to exist and then it becomes her... or him... or them. Granted, I've not gone wild over here by eating anything and everything within reach... but I've not been diligent like I should be.
There were a LOT more good choices that I made compared to the few bad choices that I felt totally guilty about.

So all in all, when I step on the scale in about 10 days, I've promised myself I'm not going to be upset by what I see. I still feel wonderful, and that, more then losing weight, has been my goal all along.

Pronto Adios, Mi Amor

The last few days with my daughter at home are winding down. Today I will be introduced to Tai food. I was told it's like Chinese food except with SO much more flavor. I'm not that crazy about Chinese food, but I'm always willing to try new stuff. My daughter has a way of doing that to me and it's one of the favorite things about her that I like. I will miss her as I always do, but here are some things I won't miss when she leaves me on Saturday:
Cat boxes in my room
Sneaky PJ (I have to admit, though... our little system of letting him out for small increments has worked very well and he's not really been a bother at all)
Higher Utility bills

And those I had to really think about. The cat boxes in my room are the top priority when she's moved out. Nothing like waking up in the middle of your sleep to either the sound of litter being rearranged and/or the smell of freshly laid poops.

I've enjoyed her company very much the last couple of weeks. Seeing her smiling face every day, hearing about things going on outside of my house, just getting to do stuff with her. It will be hard, yet again, to see her go.

Unaware

Driving home from work this morning I got behind a female driving a mid-sized, newer model vehicle. It had rained in that area pretty much off and on all night. When I first got on the highway, the typical rain water from the roadway splash was heavy... then I drove out of the area and the roads were completely dry and there was no rain, not even a mist. Yet this female left her wipers on the entire 20 mile trip until I exited the highway. How can one person be so unaware of what is going on around them that they would drive for 20 miles with their wipers on? I've seen this happen before so it's not something that I've never seen happen... but usually... USUALLY, they eventually get turned off or it's an older person who is driving. Not 20 miles worth of middle aged unawareness. And it bugged me the entire time. I passed her once and I've never been one to look over into other people's cars when I'm driving, but I couldn't resist. Totally oblivious to anyone or anything outside the interior of her car.

People bug me. I must be feeling better!

I've Been Cheating On You, Internetz...

It's a funny thing... I have a routine that I go through when I'm blogging. I can usually only write at a certain time of day. I like music in the background. Can't have the TV on AT ALL. You would think with 8 hours to spend at work I would blog there, but I just can't, usually. To say my routine has been a bit broken the last week would be calling it spot on. Since I'm sharing my time with my daughter right now, I have given up a lot of my computer time when she is home from work. I don't mind really. I actually haven't missed it that much which surprises me a little. But I've been distracted with my free time, readers, and was totally engrossed in this series of books my daughter introduced me to. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I just finished the fourth novel... since I opened the first one last Tuesday. A week ago. 4 novels.

The series is by an author named Stephanie Meyer and is called The Twilight Series. I believe the audience these books were written for is suppose to be for young adults, but my 40 year old mind was hooked on this story the moment I opened the first book. There is a 5th book being written, but it is more of a bonus book. The series is written in first person and the 5th book is from another's perspective. Wikipedia has a basic rundown on each of the books and each of the characters if you care to take a look-see.

So I'm done now. Until the 5th book appears. For those that were worrying about my absence, thanks but I'm okay. For those that didn't even notice I was gone, thanks for reading today! For any co-workers that stop by, I PROMISE I will get my work done tonight! See? I have no book with me! For my brother who's retirement party that I had forgotten I missed until this morning, sorry bro. 40 years old and all, I kind of have to be reminded of stuff 150 times. Ask my kids... they know the routine. And I am now a member of Borders Book Club.

I would promise not to go away for so long again, but I can't make that promise. Sometimes, I might just have to walk away for a few days, for varying reasons. I wasn't expecting to be gone so long, though. Forgive me?

LIBBY FOUND A FRIEND
LIBBY AFTER NOMS
SPAZZ ASLEEP ON PJ'S TOY
BUNK BEDS
COOLEST THING E V E R!

Song Updated

New Song called New Slang by the Shins is up. I found the more I listened to the Simon and Garfunkel song I had up, the more I really, really liked it. But then again, it's hard not liking ANY of the their songs.

Woe-Is-Me

I will never be an alcoholic. I've made some decent attempts in my life, yet alas... my aversion to the taste alone has kept me sober. A night out on the town (with a dedicated driver), a group of friends at a party... I'm there... I'm drinking. But sitting home alone tonight, I realized one thing... it's just really no fun to drink by myself. It's not yet 10pm and what two drinks have accomplished is a slight buzz, an icky feeling in my stomach and lots of pacing. I'm pretty good at entertaining myself, but everything I normally do to pass the time is boring tonight. I don't want to watch a movie, I tried painting, listening to music, playing with the cats... it all seems a little lame right at the moment. So I now have a diet Pepsi in front of me, writing a blog post because I suddenly feel the need to vent somehow, yet I'd rather not bother any of my friends with a woe-is-me phone call. Lucky you, reader.

When I'm done here, I'll grab a book and retire to my bedroom and escape with my imagination. I'm sure I'll get sleepy pretty quick, seeing as how I've been yawning since after the first drink, and go to bed so I can start anew tomorrow. I'll save my boozing it up for parties (I've not been to a party in YEARS), and nights out on the town (maybe twice in the last two years), and be content that alcohol will never be a problem for me.

Some people say they drink because they are lonely. I have discovered tonight that drinking actually MAKES me lonely. I can do with out lonely in my life.

80's Flashback

If you are a long haired male, in your 40's, stuck in the 80's, likes to wear leather pants and you can't seem to let Dime-Bag Darrell go, then I have the place for you to go! It's called the Rockstar Bar and it's located off of the service road of I35 between Alta Mesa and Sycamore School Road. And if you are driving too fast, and it's night time, then you will drive right past it because their sign doesn't light up.

Aside from some of the freaks that were occupying the same room as me, I have to say I had the time of my life last night. Granted, at one point, it was a little weird knowing I had dragged my kids to this place (regardless of the fact that neither of them are teenagers any more) and after my 3rd Cape Cod I got a "MOOO-OOOOM" in stereo from both of my kids. I think I've only drank one other time in front of them their entire lives.
Our group included these lovely faces:
My whole reason for going to this place was to see an old friend whom I haven't seen in about 8 years and watch her perform with the band that she is in called The Michelle Johnson Band. Our first entertainment was a bluesy guitar player who was actually pretty good standing up there all by himself. I have no idea what his name was. The second performance was painful. Not at first, mind you... but I think these guys played like 50 songs and by the time they announced that they were playing their last song, everybody in the place applauded the fact that the torture would be over soon. Three guys... 50ish... a guitar player, a bass player and a drummer and I can't remember a single song they played. All I kept thinking was... dooood... you guys need to grow up and keep it in the garage. This was the general feeling around the room:

Then The Michelle Johnson Band was up and they rocked the house. Their lead guitar player, Greg Marks, was excellent! Michelle Johnson was very good on vocals, Christy C danced with abandonment as she sang back up and tambourined and the bass player, Steve Allison, and the drummer, Jimi, added the intensity to bring the house up off their seats. They ended their set with Black Sabbath's War Pigs and seeing as how we were in an 80's time machine, most everyone there sang along (and after 4 Cape Cods I did, too).
For someone who avoids public places like I do, even with all the leather pants in the place, I had so much fun. Getting to talk with Christy C afterwards, meeting her wonderful boyfriend, made my night complete. Except for my daughter, she's the most beautiful person I know, inside and out.

When we walked out the door to go home, this "thing" was the first thing we saw. Creepy, yet kind of cool at the same time:
RIP Dime-Bag... your legend of being such a nice guy and your music live on to this day...

The Single Life

Since my son decided to go live with his dad and my daughter first left me to go to college, both within months of each other, I've experienced every kind of feeling from, "I'M FREE, I'M FREE!!", to, "Okay, I'm bored now... where are my grandkids?" I started having babies when I was just 17 years old, and having babies around is pretty much all I've known my whole life. They were what I lived and breathed on a daily basis. But in the last couple of years since my babies have been gone from the nest, they both have blossomed into adult contributing members of society. Isn't that what we groom our children to become?

My kid's dad and I have been divorced for most of their lives. My son was just 4 and my daughter was not yet two when the divorce was final. There have been hundreds of times over those years where I shipped them off to their dad's house for a day, a weekend, a summer visit or two. But they always came home and they were always still my babies. Once they hit high school, not only were there visits with their dad, but then there were band trips, and choir trips and lots and lots of sleepovers at someone else's house. It's like we spent our entire lives getting ready for the eventual separation into adult hood where they would leave... and call someplace else home.

The months leading up to our separation were very hard on me. Not only was I about to move from a house that I had lived in since I was 22, but I knew both of my kids would not be coming with me. I knew that my life was about to change drastically and everything I had once known, was going to become something I had never experienced before... mainly, living on my own for the first time in my entire life.

It was not what I expected, to say the least. When I first became a single person to be responsible for, I found myself cooking WAY too much food with no one to feed it to. When I was about to take a shower and needed something from the other room at the last minute, I'd wrap myself up in a robe or towel before exiting the bathroom to fetch my item. I planned my days so in case someone needed me, I would be around. Today I cook for one with rarely any leftovers. I have forgotten that my bathroom even has a door. I walk around nekkid and prance around like a nudist on the beach. I have developed my own routine that includes no one, on most occasions.

My son came over the other night and although he will always be my son, he was now "visiting" me. He's this grown man (although he still is my little 5 year old) that has his own problems that will never include me, worries outside of me with friends and a life that I hear about, but don't get to see on a daily basis. He has a full time job, a car payment and credit card bills. He has become a contributing member of society. My daughter is not my little girl any more. She has her own life, her own routines, and although I see her more than I see my son, she has a life outside of her mama now with her own worries and her own bills. She, also, has become an adult.

So yesterday, me and the girl ran errands together. We went to the store, we had lunch, we dug through boxes... more than once. We kind of did things like we used to do and when she said something about going home, it was my home that she was referring to. I told her things over lunch that I would never have told her had she been younger. I talked to her more like a best friend then a daughter. And even though that's kind of sad in a small way, it was then that I realized how much she has grown up over the last two years.

There was also a point yesterday, exhausted from talking to someone so much, exhausted from running around, feeling like old times again, when I realized what kind of a mom I must have been. Running from soccer games, to band practices, from cheer-leading to choir concerts... I think we all get so caught up in the day to day things that we do with our kids, that time passes us by without so much as a glance back until that day comes when everything just stops. After yesterday's adventures, I honestly have no idea how I did it with two kids.

I colored my hair yesterday for the first time this year. I actually like it. A LOT. I didn't recognize myself... I looked younger. My eyes stood out more with the dark hair and I hadn't realized how much gray hair kind of makes the whole face fade out. My daughter gave me a nice, "I told you so". And she had every right to. The old fart with gray hair pretty much isn't as old as she thought. Plus she has a children in the house again! Now I have to figure out how to go from cooking for one to cooking for the said children who will awaken with the light of morning wanting breakfast. And I doubt diet muffins, sugar free ice cream and frozen Lean Cuisines are going to cut it for her.

Tonight I will put on make-up, style my non gray hair, put on clothes for a reason other then going to work or working in the yard and have a good time with friends and family. My daughter says I have to wear eye shadow. I have forgotten what eye shadow is...

An actual conversation yesterday:
Me: This is what I'm going to wear tomorrow night.
K: You're wearing THAT?!
Me: But I LIKE that shirt.
K: I KNOW... thank goodness I'm here to help you.

Just Dump My Body Over There

I didn't mind the hour long drive up there or the hour long drive back. I totally enjoyed the conversation AND the guacamole. We laughed, we talked, we packed. We even made a short drive to dumpster dive for some boxes. I had a really good time up until we had to start moving crap. In fact... I think all three of us girls would feel the same way. And trying to fit a bunch of stuff into economy sized cars is, we all agreed, insane. At one point during the moving part of the move, K and B (B, who is family but not by blood or marriage, and who will be one of K's roommates in about a month)sat down at K's computer and reserved a U-Haul truck for their move back. We were all at a point of not caring how much anything cost at that point. This was from a 1st floor apartment. Their new apartment will be on the 3rd floor. I love my daughter SO much... but I'm going to be conveniently busy on THAT day. Because today when I woke up, it feels like I got hit by the moving truck we didn't have yesterday.

K had a few more things that just wouldn't fit in any of our cars that she'll be moving on her own today. Only one big item (her TV stand), but we got the majority of it moved and that TV stand has wheels and is not too heavy for her. She had to go back last night and finish cleaning and be out of there by 10am this morning. I know how I feel this morning and I'm sure she was up late last night so I can imagine how she will be feeling today.

PJ the cat, I learned yesterday, is quite the evil thing. He likes to play, but doesn't play well with others. He's very bitey and scratchy. I'm permanently scarred from being nice to him. I'm thinking he'll be spending a lot of time locked in his room this visit. He comes today. I can feel the gray hairs growing as I type this.

Now I must go and make nice the guest room (kitty jail) so my daughter will feel at home (so the evil thing can't escape) while she is staying here.

Move-In Day

I'm about to leave the house for a trip up north to help my daughter pack up her stuff and move back in with me. It promises to be a hot and tiring day, but at least I feel I'm physically able to help, whereas 6 months ago I don't think I'd have been much help at all. PJ (the male cat) who was once Zelda (the girl cat) will be moving in as well. If only my kitties new what was coming, they would probably bolt the door behind me and not let me back in. Somehow I have to convince them that it will only be for a few weeks. Should make for some interesting blogging material, though.

Going to go see a long lost friend sing at a bar/club on Saturday. My daughter is going and since she is such a good picture taker, she'll be in charge of the camera. Hopefully we'll get some good pictures of the great time I'm sure we'll have.

Oh, and because my daughter is moving back in for a few weeks, it's going to be mandatory that I color my hair. We are compromising and I will be using the kind that eventually washes out, but will stay in for the duration of her stay. In her eyes, I'm still too young for my hair to be looking so old.

And for those that are curious, my daughter is doing well. She's got many friends and lots of family who care for her and love her deeply. She's getting on with things that need doing and will be spending some much needed time doing some heavy re-thinking about things and life. Thank you all for your well wishes!

For The Ladies

Have you ever heard of "The Man Laws"? I have heard of it, but really never understood what the heck was meant by it, aside from what Google has revealed. I also thought it was just something guys said to be funny and that it didn't really exist. Ladies, listen up! There is such a thing. And it's scary. There are two definitions to Man Laws. One is in regards to how men act around each other. You know, not talking to another man when at a urinal, no hugging another guy if they are crying, and it is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth. We've heard of these and laughed at them. But there is a second definition that we women don't know about.

I talked with two guys last night, whose names must be withheld because of their fear of getting their Man Law Card revoked. I was sworn to secrecy yet I didn't swear to not writing about what I learned. Silly, silly men.

I have worked in a male dominated work environment for all of my life. Before I started working on the law enforcement side of things, I worked in a machine shop. If you would have asked me yesterday if I knew what a man REALLY wants, I would have been confident in my answers. Today? Not so much. Today I am more confused as ever because everything I THOUGHT was to be right, I learned I was meant to believe those things because I don't have a penis. So hold onto your hats, ladies... because what I learned explains SO much.

1. If you are interested in a man, don't have sex with him too quickly. In fact, the longer you wait the more respect for you that man will have and the more likely it will become a permanent situation.
The reason: They think that if you fall into bed with them, then you are just as likely to fall into bed with anyone and that makes you not marriage material.
2. Once a sexual relationship has started (you know... after you are married and all) don't try to impress your man with crazy wild things that you have either learned about, or have practiced with others. (you know... your ex-husband and all)
The reason: Men are prideful creatures. They want to be the ones to teach you things and in the back of their minds they are wondering where you might have learned some of the stuff you are doing. Again, this makes you not marriage material. This item was debated between the two guys, though.
3. For a man to be truly happy he requires only three things. Food, sex, and sleep.
The reason: Men are stupid creatures (not my words!) and these are the only things they think about. Now there is a sub-category to this, though. It's called a hobby. If the man likes sports, then he will also incorporate sports into his daily thinkings. If he likes to fish, hunt or if he's a freaking stamp collector, these will be things he thinks about aside from sex, food, and sleep. Ever wonder why your man is cranky? He's either hungry, horny, or tired. Or he's pissed because he's out on the town with you and missing the game.
4. Men fall in lust THEN fall in love. And if you have a good man, he stays in love with you because he chooses to, not because his heart is telling him to. This is where women usually make their mistake. By believing he loves her the way she loves him, because he doesn't. Now you might say, "but my man brings me flowers and he cuddles with me and etc., etc."
The reason: Men do these things because he knows you will be grateful and will feed him, have sex with him and let him sleep.
5. If a man cheats on you he has either done it before and/or will do it again.
The reason: Sex... sex... hungry... sex... sleep... sex...
If he gets caught the first time and fesses up, he will be more careful next time and then not fess up. You may think he's sorry, but he is only sorry that he got caught. I had a hard time accepting this, but I was told it is because I am a woman and that I love differently and that if I had a penis I would understand. They made it a point to beat this cheating rule into my brain. The EXCEPTION to this rule is that if a guy gets screwed over by a girl. Then he knows how it feels to start out with then he is much less likely to cheat on you, but ONLY if you are not the next girl he dates and if you are, you have no hopes of this being a lasting relationship because he feels he has to have his revenge before he can move on.
6. Regardless if you are told differently, men are jealous creatures.
The reason: See rules 1 - 5 above.
7. Men are called dogs for a reason. They are simple minded, stupid and as long as their basic needs are met (see rule 3), then they are happy. (again, NOT my words)

I hope this clears up any confusion you might be having about men. These were words from two very happily married men. My response to the information? I will be single the rest of my life.

Dear Mr. R.

Dear Mr. R.,

My daughter called me last night in tears. Tears that you caused. My first instinct as a parent is to hunt you down and make sure you never hurt anyone again. I think most parents would understand what I'm feeling right now. The hardest part about being a parent is knowing that I have to step back and allow my daughter to be hurt by men like you and to not interfere. Oh, but how I want to.

Let me learn you a bit about life and how it works since obviously you were never taught this by anyone else. First of all, "I was drunk" is not a valid excuse. It's a pathetic attempt to lay blame on something other than yourself. Because you were drunk is something guys like you say... a lot, to cover up something you wanted to do anyway. Because you were drunk tells me I don't really want you around my daughter anymore. I pride myself on not being an interfering mother. But let me warn you now, this stops when someone hurts one of my children. You think a mama grizzly has a temper? You don't know temper, boy!

Second, to be blunt... Karma is a bitch. She may not visit you tomorrow, or next week... but she will come a knocking. Unfortunately, guys like you don't realize it when she's there, but gals like me do. Karma is for mother's like me who know what's in store for you which keeps mothers like me from knocking on your door and kicking you in the groin and punching you in the face. Karma will make you wish for that kicking and punching instead. Unless of course, the Dad finds you first.

Third... when you cheat on someone, you are blatantly telling the one you cheated on that you have ZERO respect for them as a person. You are telling them that you don't love them. You are telling them that they don't matter. It is the most selfish, despicable thing you can do to another person. It shows what a small man you really are. If things aren't going good in the relationship, you sit down with your significant other and you either find out why, or you break up with them. You don't go poking your stuff in someone else, lie about it (don't EVEN get me started on what it means to lie to someone) and then say you are sorry. It's inexcusable. Period.

Fourth... not only have you hurt my daughter, but you have hurt her entire family. The family that welcomed you into their homes. The family that hugged you when they saw you and loved you because you were a part of K's life. So not only have you lost a girlfriend that loved you, but you have lost an extended family as well. And if for some reason my daughter loses her senses and takes you back (which I will do everything in my power not to let happen) her family will never take you back. And you will never be able to compete with a family.

Sooner or later you will come to realize what you have lost. K is a beautiful person inside and out and you will be hard pressed to find someone who's spirit even comes close to hers. I hope her memory haunts you for the rest of your piece of crap life.

Now I have the job of cleaning up the mess you so easily discarded. Now I have to try and convince my daughter that all men are not like you, even though I am finding it harder and harder to believe that myself. She will one day see you for the trash that you are... unfortunately, she gets to hurt like hell until that day comes. If you have any sense at all, which I seriously doubt at this point, you will lie in the bed you have made and not contact her or any of her family, especially me. I will not be as kind in person as I have been here.

Good Riddance,
Mama Bear

Timeless

There's very few singers/bands that I feel can be labeled timeless. Simon and Garfunkel are at the top of MY list. Todays song is by them, continuing with our Garden State soundtrack theme. It may not be one of my favorite Simon and Garfunkel songs, but you can never go wrong with them, whatever they were singing. I should have more of their CDs and I'm surprised that I don't. Enjoy!

And on a more serious note... it's supposed to be 106 here today.

Let Me Reiterate

Because of certain emails I have received, let me go over some of what I posted about yesterday, so as to hopefully be more clear on what I was trying to convey.

1. Not everyone will fail at losing weight if they get surgery.
2. With every success story about surgery, there are that many failed stories.
3. Minus the multitude of complications from weight loss surgery, if you do fail at losing weight after surgery, there are underlying problems that go far deeper then a love of Ranch dressing.
4. If you are right with yourself, you mind, your soul, your life, losing weight CAN be accomplished without surgery.
5. Love yourself, and everything, not only losing weight, will fall into place.
6. Foods that are being marketed as healthy, are surprisingly not.
7. Learn, learn, learn and then learn some more about what different foods do to your body.

I am, by far, no expert in any diet program or an expert on weight loss surgery. I am only one person who has learned the hard way how NOT to eat. My words were not directed at any one person but to anyone who may think that it is impossible for them to lose weight. The opinions expressed in my blog are my opinions alone, based on my life experiences, knowledge I have gained from various places, and being over weight for most of my adult life. What you as a reader choose to do with your body is your choice. Whether you choose to agree with me or not will not eliminate the fact that what I am doing is working for me and has worked for others like me.

Aside from actual medical problems and medications that can cause a body to become obese, even on a strict diet, I believe that becoming and being over weight are a direct result from a lack of knowledge about foods and a lack of caring about one's self. I see this as blatantly obvious now, yet it took me 40 years to figure it out.

You can agree with me or not agree with me. Like everything in life, you are blessed with the free will to choose either way. I only ask that you do not insult me by thinking I do not support my friends, whatever they choose to do with their life. No, I may not agree with their choices, but I will ALWAYS support them.

And you will never, under any circumstances ever hear me utter the words, "I told you so." Life is a journey of knowledge. What may take some 20 years to learn others will learn in 5 or 60 years... and sometimes not at all. I'm not here to judge anyone's decisions. I can only judge my own and I keep myself pretty busy doing that on a daily basis.

Love. Knowledge. Choice.

August Update

Welcome to August reader(s)! The numeros on the scale announced this morning that since I have started this journey of mine, I have lost 50.5 pounds. Although I was hoping for a higher number this month, I will take that 50.5 pounds and savor it. This is some of the reasons why:
1. I feel FANTASTIC! I've gone from always feeling like crap and noticing the "good" days, to feeling wonderful and noticing the one or two "bad" days.
2. I have so much more energy and am actually getting things done with ease.
3. I'm sleeping better. (probably still snore, but my cats won't say)
4. I feel younger.
5. I feel FANTASTIC!

And did I mention how good I feel? Okay, here's the list of not so good stuff:
1. Oh, wait... there aren't any.

Yesterday I accomplished something I thought would never happen. I started a new leg of my journey that will hopefully up the total for next month. I actually went outside and walked... and walked... and walked. All the way up my street (it's pretty long, for me anyway. I'm going to measure the distance with my car later) and back. And although I was sweaty and smelly, the one thing that DIDN'T happen was the pain in my lower back that I have been having just walking to and from my car. There was not even a twinge. Needless to say, I was all smiley and giggley for most of the day yesterday. Today I slept late, so I haven't walked yet. I will be out the door the minute I'm done with this post, though.

I've learned a lot over the course of this year about foods, what they do to your body, why this country is in such a state of unhealthiness. I've watched documentaries, I'm currently reading a book recommended by my Mom and Dad called Sugar Busters and I feel I will be learning the rest of my life.

I've tried to share my knowledge of what I've learned to a few of my friends also struggling with losing weight, but I don't want to become this health nut freak that goes and tells everyone that what they are doing is wrong. So I say what I can, I tell them what I've been doing and I sit back and watch them make mistakes knowing that I was, at one time, turning a deaf ear as well. My advice to them, and to others is as follows:

First of all, and most importantly, you HAVE to start upstairs. In da brain area. It's not so much the "wanting" to lose weight mind frame you need, although that is a part of it, it's the "caring about you" that needs to come first. If you don't have that, anything and everything you do will fail completely. This was the hardest part for me and I truly believe it's the hardest part for everyone.

Secondly, and I'm sure I'll piss some people off with this one, I'll touch on surgery. Lap-band, bypass, whatever. If you don't change your eating habits now, then you are wasting money, going through a whole lot of pain and recovery, for nothing. It's not a magic cure, folks! Sure, you'll lose some weight from basic starvation, but you're going to feel like crap. I've starved myself before. I know how I felt and it wasn't good. I know people who have had surgery and the results years later are sad, to say the least. They lost a lot of weight at first, but after they started feeling better they went right back to eating as they always did and have not lost what they wanted/needed or/and gained it back (EVEN WITH THE SURGERY) and still feel like crap to this day. Sure, you may be thinking that you are different... but you're not. And you will see what I mean a few years down the road. My advice to any who are considering this, learn about the foods you are putting in your mouth. Knowledge, knowledge, knowledge. If you know that ice cream is bad for you, yet you eat it still, then you need to go back to the paragraph up there about caring about yourself and find out WHY you are still putting it in your mouth. Because frankly, if you cared about yourself, you wouldn't WANT to poison yourself. And in the end, once you care enough about you to eat right, there is no NEED for surgery.

Knowledge is power, readers. We live in a world where knowledge is at our fingertips. Just a few clicks on the keyboard and all the information is readily available. Don't go on a diet! Change your eating lifestyle. Change the way you think of yourself. Love yourself, first and foremost! I write this, because I've lived without really caring about me for the past 20 years or so. Learn what the foods you are eating are doing to your body... even the ones we think are healthy. Go for the scientific side of learning about foods. It will shock you as much as it did me.

Love yourself people! Love who you are. Love the gift of life. Love any and all things you do, even if you think it's insignificant. Because what may be insignificance in your mind, might be affecting someone else's life in a such a positive way and you may not ever even know about it.

Now go out and eat a carrot stick or something.

Getting Over It

In a phone conversation last night, a friend of mine asked me if I still thought of S. (S being the destroyer of my world a few years back, for those that don't know me personally) I immediately answered with a quick, "no". But I also immediately retracted my answer because it just wasn't true. I DO still think of him. And for that matter, I still think of ALL my past boyfriends. But what I HAVE achieved over the past 4 and a half years is, I don't MISS him any more. I think there will always be that hole in my heart, but isn't that true for anyone we have loved deeply, yet lost for whatever reason? Yes, there was a part of me that died the day he walked out the door... an innocence that I had been able to hold onto up until my late 30's. But with the death of that innocence came knowledge, with knowledge came wisdom, with wisdom came a happiness of self that I don't believe I could have achieved without the rest. I will never regret loving him. How can one regret love when it's the core desire of almost every human being on Earth?

Today's feature song is by Colin Hay. I think it fits here. Hope you enjoy!

Rain! Sort of...

I was almost home. The skies were dark and on a few occasions a rainbow would appear. Then something hit my windshield. It was a rain drop. And another, and another, until I had to actually turn on my wipers. I was amazed! I was fascinated! It felt like a new experience! I got home, got out of my car and the SMELL! Oh, glorious rain smell. I ran in the house and opened up my doors and I watched, enthralled, as the rain came down. A whole 1 minute and 30 seconds worth. Just enough to make the roads slick up with built up oil and to cause lots of accidents for rush hour. Heard the sirens start not long after I got in.

I'm icky this morning. Started yesterday morning. Nothing of consequence escaping the orifices, but I have a pretty bad constant pain in my stomach that has become unbearable the last two times I've eaten anything... which will cure any snacking desires... or meal desires, for that matter. Not that I'm having problems with any of that, except that I'm still not eating as much as I should. But I'll write more about that on weigh day which is coming up in a couple of days. In the meantime, I think I'll go curl up with a book and some air conditioning and start my days off rested and relaxed.

You, dear reader, should tell someone you love them today. Just because.

My Niece / Picture by KL

Music-licious

The current favorite song playing is from Zero 7. One of the songs off of the Garden State soundtrack. Probably one of my most favorite movie soundtracks ever. My daughter introduced me to the movie and from there I fell in love with the music. In fact, my daughter has introduced me to some of the best new music/indie music of all time. I have to give my son some credit as well... when I'm in the mood for some harder stuff, he's got the line on that as well. My kids ROCK! Can't say if my music tastes ever affected them, but we all share a very deep love for all kinds of music. I won't take complete credit for that... but I will take a little.

I think back to when I was their age and I know for a fact that my parents were never really interested in the music I listened to. Sure, we had some favorites that we shared, but my tastes were normally not theirs. Before this song that I have up now, I had an ABBA song playing. My liking ABBA I got from my Dad. I can remember sitting in our maroon Pontiac Bonneville with the moon roof, playing with the 8-track tape player, listening to ABBA. How sad that the younger generation will never be able to enjoy the clicking/clunking sound of changing tracks.

I will be featuring some of my favorite songs off the Garden State soundtrack in the coming days. Hope you enjoy and if there are ever any songs you would like me to put up, just shoot me an email. (address available in my profile section) I'll give you props in a post and maybe say some nice things about you as well.

Picture by KL (my daughter)

Disaster!

Most of my immediate family and friends know that I like to paint birdhouses. Most of my immediate family and friends say I need to sell them. I still don't know about all of that, but maybe someday. I have given away most of the ones that I have painted to friends and family over the years and all of them have been received with smiles. I have a tendency to not be able to paint a birdhouse unless I have someone in mind when I do one. But on occasion, I'll go outside of my comfort zone and just paint one for me. There are a few practice ones that I left at the other house for my Mom and Dad, and I hung one up a few months ago that had been sitting around for a couple of years. I recently made one for my Dad with a fishing theme. For any who don't know, he hand makes fishing lures and founded and owns his own business called Humdinger Lures. One of the things I added to his birdhouse were some shells. I still need to go over and take a picture of it. When I bought the supplies, I couldn't just buy like 6 or 7 shells. (they are small) No, I had to buy a thousand or so.

The other day I had this great idea on how to get rid of all the extra shells. I'd make a birdhouse and mosaic the shells completely covering the house. It was a good idea in theory and in my mind I thought it would look really cool. I also had gotten some real small sized roofing shingles (used on doll houses) and I wanted to try those out as well. Well... the results were not what I expected and I doubt I will even be able to hang this one outside just in case someone actually sees this thing. The glue I used on the shingles tends to expand as it dries and it DOESN'T dry clear so there was tan glue coming out of places that it shouldn't have. After removing as much of THAT disaster as I could, and tearing up a lot of the shingles in the process, I proceeded with the shell application. The finished product was just awful. Even my first houses that I practiced on are better than this monstrosity that I don't EVEN want to claim that I created. So here are some pictures of the ugly birdhouse, and my attempts to take a picture while my cats are awake and it's not them getting their pictures taken:

Faith

Hello Dolly

I don't know why it bugs me that they named a Hurricane Dolly. Maybe it's because I was sure hoping Dolly would bring us some rain and she didn't... maybe it's just the name. My thoughts go out to Padre Island and the work that will need to be done there... I'm sorry your town got creamed by a stupidly named Hurricane.

I like hurricane season because I don't travel and I don't live on the coast. But I like it more because during this time of year, it's pretty much the only chance of rain that we get for 6 months out of the year. My lawn is more or less a mowed hayfield, with yellow and brown being the predominate colors. My trees (the younger unknown type) are wilty and my butterfly bush looks like a big giant tumbleweed. My drought resistant Lantana have ceased flowering altogether. The only green in my yard is my front porch flower bed, which is a new one for this house because no one has ever been able to grow ANYTHING there. And it was accomplished simply by installing a well placed sprinkler.

The pretty green grass you may see in the back ground is my neighbor's yard. And the wetness is NOT rain, it's the well placed sprinkler. OH! And I have another watermelon vine this year. It presented itself a couple of weeks ago and is loving the well placed sprinkler. My goal is to harvest a watermelon this year... a good one. The one I picked last year I think I picked too early. It was okay, but not very sweet.

This is Cricket making a scary face while she sleeps. Silly kitty.

Bits

It was around 0130 am that I decided to turn on Kitty Cam. I was bored, you see. Well... it seems my problem NOW stands with the router set up, again. Every thing is saying the internet is working, and everything IS working internally with the network. But when I try to connect to my browser? Nothing. I can't tell you how many times I have re-set that thing. 50 maybe? Obviously there's a set up issue. I just don't know what it is. I might try and work on it today sometime. If I get bored enough. Which I probably will. I have found I have an amazing amount of spare time when the chores are not left to go to hell and everything is caught up. I know most of you are aware of that... it only took me 40 years to learn it.

If you've clicked the link for "Things You Might Not Know About Me" over there on the right, you know I wear contacts. I wear the extended-wear disposable. I won't divulge my contact habits. Lets just say I am frugal and leave it at that, mmmm'kay? So I couldn't see last night (this was before the Kitty Cam experiment)and I decided I should put in a new pair of eyes. Libby likes to help me brush my teeth, and wash my face, and my hands... basically anything that allows her to sit on the bathroom counter while I'm in da washroom. She likes to preen, too! Anyone who wears contacts knows how painful it is to get ANYTHING in the eyes while the contacts are in. This includes Libby fuzz. But of course, she's right there the whole time as I wash my hands, get my new contacts ready, get the solution on hand. I took out the left one, and when I did, it fell to the counter. I just left it there while I got the new one to put in. In a matter of 3.625 seconds after the contact hit the counter, Libby ran over, grabbed it, and took off with it. I thought at first she had just jumped down because she was bored, but when I got the new contact in and looked down at the old one... it was gone. And that's when I noticed Libby on the floor in the corner bouncing around and playing with something. When I went to investigate, it was my old contact. I took it away from her, of course. It was earlier in the day that I had to take a toy away because she was shredding it and eating the fuzz off of it. Cats are crazy.

The Big Plan

It amazes me how people change over the years. Physically, that is. What time can do is often cruel, but as I grow older it seems less cruel, and more interesting to see.

I have come into contact the last couple of years with people I knew when I was much younger and the changes that time have taken are obvious. Not in a bad way, though. Never in a bad way. The one thing that seems to always stay the same, though, are the eyes. On MySpace, they have a page for your high school alumni. I've searched through it, trying to recognize people, and aside from two or three, I just don't recognize any of them. It's an odd feeling. You spend 12 years going to school with these people and your mind tells you that you should recognize them... but you don't. It may be a bit different for me, though, because I never really kept in touch with those that I attended school with. But these people from my past that I have contacted again after so many years, I doubt I would have recognized them, if not for the eyes.

And on the opposite end of the scale, I don't notice the changes in those closest to me. I asked my mom one time... "Why can't I see my son as grown man? How come he still looks 16 to me?" She told me that was normal, but she assured me my son looked like a grown man, even though I would probably not ever be able to see it. I look at my parents, and although my Dad is just a couple of years away from 70, he still just looks like Dad. My grandmother, 104, still just looks like Nanny. Mom is just Mom. Now... when I look at my brothers, it's a bit different, but I think that has to do with the fact I don't seem them very often.

And then there's me. I feel I've aged quite a bit in just the last 5 years or so. Stress and the like can do bad things to a body. But I'm not terribly freaked out about it. But I wonder, when I see past friends, if they think to themselves, "WOW, she's gotten OLD!" And I know I have. A few years ago, after going through quite a bit of stress (midlife crisis), lots of drugs (prescribed by a psychiatrist), that I saw what stress and time can do to one's face. It was after I got off the drugs that I one day looked in the mirror and I will never forget seeing an old face staring back at me and me thinking, God I've aged! When did this happen??! I wonder, though... do we ALL hit a point where we look in the mirror and see old?

So I decided that on this day, the start of my weekend, I am going to do things to make me feel younger. Like maybe coloring my hair... working in the flowerbeds... running around and playing in the sprinkler. Okay, probably not that last one. I've gotten use to the gray hair framing my face. My fear is that I will color my hair, and instead of looking younger, I'll just look like an old fart with colored hair. The line is divided between my friends now. Some say color (my daughter is the loudest on this one because she tells me I'm NOT old, so quit trying to BE old) and some say wear my gray with pride. HA! Maybe I'll start a Gray Pride March.

Weather Report

It's HOT. It's hot. It. Is. Hot. We are officially starting the hottest part of the year now. This is what the weather will be like, and has been like for the last two weeks:

Bleh.

Am I Wrong?

I've said it before, I'll say it again... I truly believe sometimes that ignorance is bliss. And by ignorance I mean stupidity. And by bliss I mean you really piss me off.

Some days I hate the fact that my mind absorbs every little detail of every little thing... and every little nuance of people. Granted, on the positive side, this sitting back and seeing has helped me learn a lot about people in general, especially the ones I'm around often. The unfortunate part is that the people I'm around the most are the people I work with. It really is like a second family. It's very interesting how my job has changed me over the years. Yes, I will admit, that I'm warped in ways I've probably yet to discover. I don't feel that I chose to make a career out of dispatching. I feel that dispatching kind of chose me. I can't imagine doing anything else. Doing anything else scares the crap out of me. I believe that my job has turned me into a misanthropic hermit. My circle of friends and family are small, but I like it this way.

Like in any family, there's going to be someone, for whatever reason, on any given day, who irritates the fool out of you. It happens, we work through it, life goes on. But maybe you have an older brother... and maybe you only see this older brother once or twice a week. And maybe, just maybe, this older brother gets on your nerves more than any other older brother you have, or have ever had.

My older brothers are the best, by the way. I love them both, dearly, and I miss them every day. They were the coolest older brothers to have growing up as the baby sister. sniff...

Being a female (and I'm sure most of the females I know have experienced this at least once in their lifetime)when someone has already frayed a nerve or two, anything and everything they do is scrutinized... all the way down to how they tie their shoes. But my Mama raised me good, and most days the "it happens, we work through it" philosophy works like it should. I'm sure you've guessed by this point in the post, that there was an incident that went beyond my normal daily self control... especially seeing as how I'm blogging about it now.

The incident I'm about to describe would, under normal circumstances, be considered small and insignificant. The FIRST time it happened, I was able to shake my head and move on with my night, as I do almost every night I have to "work" with this individual. There have been past instances of conflict between us. Me, who gets along with everyone, lost all respect for this "man" a long time ago. So this is not me just bagging on someone because I was irritated last night. No, this is me, who has held her tongue so long and has kept her fingers from bashing him on the internet to the point that her head wants to es-plode. One of the commandments of blogging is, never bash your co-workers on the internet. Someone, somewhere, will read it and tattle. I'm okay with that, at this point. In fact, every week, I could write about him and be okay with that.

The big boss, whom I love and adore beyond words, gave this "man" a key to an office that controls the heating and cooling of the room that I sit in for at least 40 hours a week. It's a secured office, because it's the big boss's office. I've often questioned the reasoning behind this. But it's a supervisor thing, so I stay out of it. Not too long ago, I posted about my dispatch office and the unsecured doors because of the heat of all the computers. So last night I get to work and the temperature is as it should be. I'm Goldilocks and the air is juuuuuust right. About 0200 (2am), the "man" comes in and makes a point in asking me, "Are you hot?" My response is, "Nope. I'm very comfortable, thank you." At which point, he walks down the hall, opens the big boss's door and proceeds to crank down the air conditioner. To understand where I'm coming from here you need to know a few things. First of all, this is the second time he's come to me, making a special point in asking me if I was hot, me telling him no, and him immediately walking down the hall and cranking down the air. Second of all, he usually doesn't ask. He usually just goes in and cranks down the air. And he always waits till I'm there to do it. And lastly, I'm not talking about making it a couple of degrees cooler. I'm talking, "Eskimo Kill". I have to go to our break-room and stick my head in the freezer to warm up.

Now... I'm all about giving someone the benefit of the doubt. I know these guys are wearing polyester, a bullet proof vest, a 30 pound gun belt, and that it's a billion degrees outside. And what may turn my nose and fingertips blue, probably feels really good to them. But there is one significant thing I have yet to divulge. And this other thing is what makes me stop and go, HUH? And if this exact scenario had not happened, play by play, on a previous occasion, I probably would have just shook my head and gone on with my night, as I usually do.

The kicker to this whole thing... after he makes a point in asking my opinion of the air's condition, and after totally disregarding the fact that I said I'm fine and walking down the hall and cranking down the air anyway, he leaves. Yes, folks, he does. He doesn't stop to use the bathroom... he doesn't stop in his office to do paperwork... he cranks down the air, closes the door, walks past his office and turns out the light, and leaves the building. It takes approximately three and one half minutes before my fingers lose all feeling in them and frostbite ensues.

I've tried to rationalize it. And the only thing I can come up with, is on the two nights he's made it a point to ask me, he's feeling unusually mean and spiteful. But again, I'm all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt and if he was just coming in, cranking down the air and then walking out, fine. He did that for a while, in fact. But the simple action of him coming up to me, showing concern for my comfort, then, by what can only be interpreted as a complete disregard for me as a person (this conclusion does not just come from this incident alone. There have been several incidences of total disregard for me, and many others) and acts as if I didn't even speak... well... it makes this misanthropic hermit want to take a tazer and "light him UP!" Someone once described him as a Rat Bastard. The name has stuck (not to his face, of course) and on the nights he does stuff like this, I think it is too kind of a description.

Boredom

It's been a very long time since I have been truly bored. But that's what I spent most of yesterday being. I paced, I read, I tried to find something to watch on TV or the computer, I paced some more, I got a little lonely, and finally went to bed at 8pm and read for an hour until I couldn't stand it any more and I just went to sleep. I woke up about 0130 for a bathroom break and I was going to get up then, but knowing there was nothing to do if I WERE to get up, I just went back to bed. Slept a total of 9 hours which ,at least for the past 5 or 6 years, is truly a sleeping record for me. But along with sleeping so long, I woke up and my body feels as if it's been in one position all night, so my back is stiff and somewhat sore. Have you even woke up during the night and realized your arm has been extended completely straight for probably hours and then when you try to bend it, you actually have to pick it up with your other hand because it hurts too bad to move it? That's the same feeling I have in my back... or had. It's a soreness that goes away quickly with movement and mine is almost gone already. Yeah, I know... it's old age and I need to go ahead and just get use to it. But I'm not use to it, because my back rarely hurts, if only because I usually only sleep 4 to 5 hours a day.

I look forward every week to my weekends so I can just get stuff done. I normally spend most of my weekend procrastinating on getting that stuff done. Well, I got all that stuff done on Wednesday which left me nothing to worry about doing, and nothing to actually do, on Thursday. In fact, I was SO bored yesterday, that I actually plugged in Kitty Cam for the first time since I threw up my hands. Nothings changed on that, by the way. I'm still an idiot.

Tonight I go back to work. Tomorrow I get to work 12 hours. That part time dispatcher we hired a couple of weeks ago? Yeah, well, he's now the full time animal control officer. One of our dispatchers left yesterday for a 10 day trip to Florida. I am not complaining about the over time. Number one, it gives me something to do and number two I REALLY need the extra money.

Number three, this has got to be one of the lamest posts I've ever written... not that the rest of my posts are any better, but I'm forcing myself to write a post today because the rest of the blogs that I read rarely post every day and there was nothing to read this morning.

This is called a wordle. I took a famous poem by a famous poet and this is what it came up with. Can you guess what famous poem this is just by these most common words used? Your hints are: The poet is male and dead. The bigger the words are, the more they are used.

Okay... I will spare you any more pain and I will end this post now.

Cats

It never ceases to amaze me what my cats will do while I'm away at work...

I Love Security Cameras

Hot

When I was very young, I use to lie awake in bed listening to my brothers wrestle in the next room. They would make tons of noise banging up against the walls and the beds. My Dad use to get SO mad at them. I remember one time he was so mad, he stormed into their room and took the door off the hinges. I didn't see this happen and I don't remember if I heard it happen, or if it was something my brothers just told me had happened.

Here's a cool picture from my daughter's trip:

Post # 200

Have you ever had one of those days where things are just weird? Off? It's almost like Déjà vu, but not really. It's like "something" is going to happen, but then nothing ever does. Well, I'm having one of those days. It feels like when I was a teenager and I did something I know I'm going to get in trouble for when I get home... that tense moment before I walk in the door to face the wrath. I hope this passes soon.

I'm ready for Fall. I'm ready to be cold again. I'm ready for this awful heat to be replaced by falling leaves and warm snuggly sweaters and hot chocolate (sugar free, of course!).

There was a time, when I was younger, that my family would get together just because. Not for a holiday, but just to get together. We'd play poker, or swim, or both. We'd laugh, enjoy each other's company, sometimes drink too much. We haven't had one of those times where we were all together like that in a long time. Unlike a lot of families, there was never any arguing, or fighting, or talking bad about each other. We've just always enjoyed each other's company. The bad things that came our way, we stuck together and got through them. I miss my family.

I'm thinking there's some kind of instinctual thing going on with the girl kitties. It has seemed that Libby has been in constant heat for a month straight now. Cricket has shown no signs of being in heat. Today I get home and Libby is fine, but now Cricket is in heat. They have never been in heat at the same time. I'm wondering if there is some kind of pack instinct with cats in regards to this.

I feel a rearranging of the living area soon. I haven't done that in a while.

I wish for you a normal non-off day.

Summer Daze

Not much to talk about lately. It's been boring as usual. No major catastrophes to speak of. I got my lawn mowed yesterday with no complications. I saw a hummingbird on the Lantana that is growing outside of the window by the computer. And at one point I heard a major bird ruckus on my front porch and when I peeked to see what was going on, there were about ten birds on and hanging from the moss rose that I put in the planter on the front porch. I couldn't tell if they were eating bugs off the flowers, or actually eating the flowers, but they were enjoying themselves quite a bit. Since I don't have my camera at the moment...

No, they weren't blackbirds... and there were more then three... and they were moving around a bit more...

Speaking of my camera, my daughter should be on her way home from Colorado as I'm typing this. I'm looking forward to seeing all the cool photos she took. She took some good ones last time they went.

Today is my oldest brother's birthday. Happy Birthday bro!

Puppy

I spent the night at work last night with a puppy. Couldn't tell you how old he was... or her. Not really sure about dogs. Grabbed an old stuffed bear we had laying around up there and watched him play with it most of the night. He slept in my arms as we watched a documentary on the Maya writings. He peed on the floor a total of 6 times and pooped three times. I had no idea dogs went that often. No wonder I have cats. My love for animals is well known at work. Comments were made about me taking him home. Dogs are not for lazy people. I didn't bring him home.

I just realized I have not updated on my weight progress. Nothing to tell, though. I only lost one pound. This makes me sad, but not discouraged at all. It tells me that I need to change more then I'm already doing and I'm okay with that. In the last 5 minutes, I have seen three runners and 4 bicyclists. It's obvious what I need to change.

I still haven't mowed my lawn. tee hee I'm feeling so rebellious!

Nothin Much

I'm still getting dressed about to go mow the lawn... doesn't matter that it's been 2 days now. I like to live on the Code Enforcement edge! Oh, my! I'm such a wild child!

The pain of the rain has finally left me. As have the fleas. My cats have done nothing but sleep peacefully for the past couple of days.

My daughter left for Durango, Colorado last Thursday. Taking her yearly trip with my brother, sister in law and my niece to new and exciting places. She also took my digital camera so no new pics for a while. I have tons of old ones anyway that I can always use. Like this one of Libby when she was no bigger than a remote:

Here's a picture that's REALLY old. I call this my Texas Snowman seeing how there was barely enough snow to make him and the fact that he's in a pool chair hanging out by the pool:

I use to make my kid's mums when they were in high school. This was for my son's girlfriend:

I also did the armband mums for my daughter's boyfriends. They were just as gaudy:

Outside Time

It's 0640 and after this post, I'm off to get dressed to mow the lawn. Don't want to. But I have to. With the rain we had, I actually do have more then a few whispies to take care of.

So while I'm out being responsible, Have a safe and happy Fourth of July!

Goings On

Yesterday arrived the Frontline. Last night after I woke up, I applied. By about 2am, the cats were scratching a LOT! But I soon realized why.

Libby loves going to the bathroom with me. After she reaches up and gives me a big stretch, she'll jump up on the sink area and sit with me. Here lately, with the fleas so bad, she would sit up there and scratch and flea leavings would be covering my sink area. When those flea leavings become wet, you are able to see why fleas are so harmful to your animals. Those flea leavings are mostly the dried excreted blood of your loved pet. So I've kept the can of Lysol out and have been cleaning up this mess on a daily basis. Last night she was up there scratching and scratching and she is white enough for fleas to be very visible on her. The fleas were literally falling off of her. And when they would land on my sink, you could tell they were somewhat still alive, yet dying quickly. I am thinking the fleas are all doing a little death dance on the kitties which is what's causing them to scratch so much. This morning, though... things are a lot less scratchy. All of my kitties got foamy mouths from licking this stuff off of the area where they shouldn't be able to reach, but do anyway, but that is common for that to happen and they seem fine this morning.

My rain pain is kicking my butt. It's been over a week now with no relief. The pointer finger on my right hand is so swollen right now, I can hardly bend it. Looks like a sausage finger.

***edit***
Just did an inspection on Libby. I could not find one single flea. Yea for Frontline!!!!! Less then 24 hours after application!